Living for the here and now is something Karen Barnett not only appreciates the importance of, but encourages others to do as well.
Being diagnosed with incurable breast cancer almost four years ago in January 2021 was the wake-up call she needed, she says, to create a life of no regrets.
“I didn’t have a choice to get terminal cancer, but I can choose how to respond to it, and I choose to make the most of the time I have,” says the 42-year-old.
“Since the diagnosis, I’ve never wanted to live life so much. I truly believe cancer’s given me so much more than it could ever take away.”
Karen has even tackled feats she swore she never would, like bungy jumping off the Auckland Harbour Bridge this year to raise money for Sweet Louise, the charity dedicated to caring for Kiwis living with metastatic breast cancer (late-stage breast cancer that has spread to other parts of the body).
“Sweet Louise’s staff and members know what it’s like and have become like whānau,” he tells. “I’ve met some amazing people and I’ve also lost some amazing people.”
Recalling her bridge plunge, Karen admits, “I felt terrified, but I always encourage others to face their fears, so I needed to practice what I preach.
“The guy helping me on the platform said, ‘You’re already living with something that’s most feared. Compared to that, this will be over in seconds. Being scared is just a reminder you’re alive.’
“I made the leap for all those I’ve lost and am going to lose, as well as for their families.”
Karen’s symptoms first presented as stomach pains in November 2020. Having had a history of fibroids and ovarian cysts, her GP sent her for a scan. While she waited for the results, she also discovered a lump in her breast.
Her mum Cheryl is a breast cancer survivor and was with Karen when she received her diagnosis. “I thought, ‘If Mum can do this, I can too,’” she says.
But within three days, the abdominal scan results arrived, showing it had spread to her liver and was incurable. Chemotherapy and medication for the cancer began immediately, and is ongoing.
“I didn’t cry and I didn’t get angry,” she tells. “That weekend, I somehow just felt really positive and instead created a Facebook group because I was determined others could journey with me and learn something from my experience.”
Inviting friends to join the online group, Karen accidentally added ZM radio’s Bree Tomasel, thinking she was a friend with the same name. Since then, her friendship has become close with the Celebrity Treasure Island host.
“Bree’s become such an amazing friend,” says Karen. “We catch up regularly and she even mentioned the story about how we met in her book. I’ve asked her to emcee at my ‘after-party’ and she agreed. Her friendship means so much to me.”
Karen’s brother Lee has also been integral on her journey.
“A lot of people with an incurable diagnosis say there are two main fears. One is being in pain, the other is being scared for the people we leave behind. So every year in the month of my diagnosis, Lee and I do something special because I don’t want January to be a sad memory. Instead, we pick an activity to remind ourselves we’re alive and I hope when I’ve gone, he’ll continue the tradition in my honour.”
Karen is also working through an ever-growing bucket list. She has so far ticked off taking a helicopter ride, travelling to Maui thanks to generous friends, blackwater rafting, visiting relatives in Scotland and Dubai, and fulfilling her childhood dream of holding a dolphin at Sea World in Australia.
“Doctors gave me 15 to 56 months to live,” says Karen, who also volunteers weekly at Riding for the Disabled. “Since then, I’ve done more than most people could in a lifetime.
Despite getting close to the 56-month mark, Karen’s still busy making plans. She wants to attend an All Blacks game at the 2027 Rugby World Cup.
“It’s been an incredible journey,” she says. “What’s most important to me is encouraging people to believe in themselves and take challenges. Don’t wait for a terminal diagnosis.”
To learn more about or support Sweet Louise, visit sweetlouise.org.nz
Related stories
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
