Pictures: Tony Nyberg
From the outside, Theophila Pratt and Kevin MacIver look much like any other young Kiwi couple. They love pottering about the home they recently bought together, taking their dog Boston for walks on the beach, and spending time with friends and family. But for Theo, who fled Gloriavale nine years ago, this everyday existence is the result of an incredible journey of courage and determination.
She was 18 when she walked out of the fundamentalist West Coast cult she was born into, leaving her mum and seven of her eight siblings behind. She walked into a world so foreign, she felt almost like she’d landed on another planet.
While the emotional scars of her dysfunctional upbringing remain, she tells us that with Kevin’s support and love, she’s managed to create a future she never could have dreamed of, with the freedom to make her own choices, and where women and men can be equals.
“Before I met Kevin, all I’d seen from men was that they used women for themselves. They ruled the Earth, basically,” she says at home at Ōrere Point, on the west coast of the Firth of Thames, about an hour’s drive from central Auckland. “It blew my mind when I realised it was possible that we could be equal in a relationship and that we were genuine partners. I couldn’t believe I was not expected to submit to him.”
Born Honey Faithful to parents Peter and Humility Faithful, Theo, 27, is talking to us today about her new book, Unveiled: A Life Of Surviving Gloriavale, which lifts the lid on the secretive cult that has been at the centre of decades of allegations of sexual and physical assault, as well as workplace exploitation.
Theo’s upbringing was marred by sexual abuse, violence and fear. Yet, she tells us that despite knowing no different, she always understood something was very wrong with the Gloriavale way of life. From a young age, she knew she would leave.
“I was always questioning things and I just knew there was no future for me there,” says Theo. She changed her name from Honey at age 16 while still at Gloriavale. Theophila is a biblical name, meaning “loved by God”.
Her escape came when she refused to sign a commitment dedicating her life to the sect. With nothing but an old suitcase and $200, she was taken to the bus in Greymouth, thus beginning the start of her new life on the outside. Figuring out how to survive was terrifying, but there were moments of joy along the way.
“I was totally overwhelmed at the start,” she recalls. “I didn’t know how to talk to people, I didn’t understand young people’s language and I didn’t know how anything worked. But it was also amazing to be free. It took me a while to realise I could do what I wanted, when I wanted. I remember feeling so powerful when I bought my first pair of jeans.”
While Theo, now a qualified occupational therapist, wasn’t looking for a relationship, two years after leaving Gloriavale, she was introduced to concrete layer Kevin, 29, through mutual friends. It was anything but love at first sight, though, they admit with a laugh.
“The first time I met him, I wasn’t impressed,” says Theo. “He was drinking with his best mate and I was busy studying for exams. I thought, ‘I can’t be bothered with any of that’, so I didn’t stick around.”
But the pair continued bumping into each other and over time, formed a connection. Theo says Kevin was one of the few people who didn’t respond negatively when he learned where she’d come from.
“People can be really nosy and ask inappropriate questions, but Kevin was different,” says Theo. “He didn’t make me feel judged – it was like he just wanted to get to know me for me.”
Says Kevin, “When she told me where she’d come from, I just thought, ‘Wow! That’s interesting.’ I didn’t know a lot about it. All I knew was from TV – that it was a religious cult where dodgy stuff happens.”
For their first date, Kevin took Theo to Sea Life Kelly Tarlton’s Aquarium and for an ice cream at Bastion Point. From then on, love blossomed and the pair were rarely apart.
While life is happy and settled now, with the pair ensconced in their new home, the first year brought unique challenges. Not only had Theo never had a boyfriend, but she had no reference point for healthy relationships either.
“Everyone I knew had been forced into arranged marriage,” she explains. “I had no idea what love and respect looked like between a couple.”
And learning how to share an intimate relationship took time and patience. Theo was sexually abused when she was a child. She continues to have therapy to help address the ongoing trauma and says there has been a lot of “unlearning” to be done.
She reflects, “Growing up, we were taught that your body isn’t your own. You’re taught that your father owns it until you’re married and then your husband owns it. It’s complete bulls**t, but it took me a long time to understand how terrible that message is for young girls. A lot of that challenge was getting to know my own body and self.”
While Theo used to worry Kevin would eventually hurt her or break her trust, she could see he was a good man by the way he treated his mum, sister and nieces. He was kind, patient and nonjudgemental, and she feels eternally grateful to have him by her side.
Several years ago, she took Kevin to Gloriavale so he could fully understand where she’d come from. While her dad was banished from the community some years ago and Theo has nothing to do with him, she was happy to see her mum and siblings, Christian, 41, Malachi, 39, Justice, 37, Elijah, 33, Tabitha, 30, and Eden, 25, despite a frosty welcome from some of them.
Last year, Theo visited her sister Precious, 32, in India for a documentary looking into the Indian Gloriavale community. The doco revealed disturbing conditions and allegations of sexual abuse. Theo admits she still carries a deep anger towards the place where she was raised and its leaders. She hopes her book will find its way into the community and show others that leaving is possible.
“It takes courage to walk out, but you have no idea how good freedom feels until it happens,” she enthuses. “It’s the best thing I ever did.”
And Theo is living proof there is life after Gloriavale. Since graduating from university four years ago, she works at Kidz First Children’s Hospital at Middlemore. As well as helping children with medical needs return to school, she works in the gender care team. There, she assists transgender kids as they transition. The poignancy of working with young people as they learn to be their true selves isn’t lost on Theo.
“I feel so privileged to be in a role working with youth, helping them access their world and live their dreams. Everyone should be allowed to be who they are.”
For help with sexual harm, call 0800 044 334, text 4334 or visit safetotalk.nz.
Related stories
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
