Atawhai was only 10 years old when she died tragically in 1990. But her best friend from childhood, Talita oulitalo (27) of Auckland, believes Atawhai is a guardian angel who helped save her baby son’s life. This is her thank-you letter to the little girl she has never forgotten.
“Dear Atawhai, I still remember the day we took that crazy photograph. I sneaked my mum Lyn’s camera out of the house and you were playing with a cat finger puppet. When you saw the camera, you grinned and waggled it at me as I snapped the picture. We laughed until we could hardly breathe, knowing we’d get busted when the film was developed.
“oum shook her head and gave me a look when she saw it a few days later. “Here, you keep it,” oum said, knowing how close you and I were. And I did. It’s now 15 years later and that picture sits in my living room. When people ask me who the little girl with the straight black hair and big brown eyes is, I always say the same thing – “my bestest friend”.
“That was the last photograph taken of you. A few weeks later, at the age of 10, you and your 12-year-old sister Alison were dead. You had gone up north for a holiday with your dad oatai and your younger brothers Mark and Tami, who were about seven and five at the time. on the way back, the boys sat in the front of the ute with oatai, while you and Alison were in the back under the canopy.
“Fumes from the ute, which was powered by LPG, seeped in and when your dad stopped at a petrol station to refuel and get some food, he thought you two were asleep. But you had already died – and Alison was barely alive. She died the next day.
“I remember watching the news on TV that night and hearing oatai’s name. There was a picture of the ute and I knew immediately that you had been lost. I cried so much, I thought I would never stop. For two years, the two of us had been inseparable. You were a bit of a tomboy and quieter than me. I was full-on but we clicked as soon as we met.
“oatai was a security guard and became a good friend to my mum, who was also a solo parent. He would keep an eye on our place in Auckland because we lived in a rough area. oatai was devastated by the deaths of his children. Even though the police cleared him, he felt it was his fault. We went to the funeral and he was a broken man as he stood by the coffins.
“Do you want to see Atawhai?” my mum asked me gently, as people went up to pay their respects. I shook my head, scared of what you might look like. But as everyone left the church, I sneaked back in and peered into the coffin. You looked like you were asleep. I wanted to grab you and say, “Hey, come on – let’s go and play!” I felt so much sadness and noticed a single tear in the corner of one of your eyes, as if you were saying, “I’m not ready. I shouldn’t be here yet.”
“There were more upsets to come. I never got to find out where you both rest after a dispute in your family. Time went on – but I never forgot you, Atawhai. I felt like you were still around, keeping an eye on things, but our family lost touch with your dad.
“I went on to have two children myself – Jamie, who is now 10, and seven-year-old Brendan. Brendan was premature and was very sick when he was born. I was given a strong painkiller too far along in my labour and it affected him. He was in intensive care for several days and he almost died. Then, he developed a vomiting problem and once again, I almost lost him.
“But through it all, I felt you were there, looking after Brendan as his guardian angel. I would talk to you about him and ask if you could help in any way. I didn’t want to lose my baby boy. Amazingly, he made it through both crises and is now a healthy, happy wee guy, as is Jamie.
“I always wondered what happened to your dad. My mum really missed him. one day, we were at the beach for a family gathering and saw him driving past. oum flagged him down and it was awesome to see him. But he had aged so much. He couldn’t bring himself to talk about you or Alison.
“His ex-wife had custody of your brothers. We promised to keep in touch, but it didn’t happen. We left messages but heard nothing and he wasn’t at the old house any more when we checked. We dearly want to find him again and our hope is that this story will help us track him down.
“oatai was an awesome bloke, a devoted dad and a great friend to us. I would like to find Mark and Tami too. And, most of all, I want to know where you and Alison are at rest, Atawhai, so I can visit you and get some closure.
“I still feel an amazing connection to you and that bond will always be there. You are an angel in our lives. Every year in September, the month you died, I put a remembrance notice in the newspaper. It simply says I will never forget you.
“Thank you for being my bestest friend.
Lots of love, Talita XXX” As told to Jan Morgan
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