Photos: Erin Adams.
In the past 40 years, Jo Duston has cared for at least 200 children, each leaving a mark on her heart and reminding her why being a foster carer is so important.
“They’re all my children,” enthuses Jo, who was recently honoured by the Governor-General at the Excellence in Foster Care awards for going above and beyond to provide safe and healing homes to kids in care.
Reflecting on her remarkable tenure, the retired Westport South School principal says she always wanted a big family. But in her earlier years, it looked like that wouldn’t be possible when she was diagnosed with Cushing’s disease. The rare endocrine disorder causes the adrenal glands to produce too much cortisol, which can cause reproductive issues.
“When I was 13, doctors wanted to do a hysterectomy and radiate my pituitary gland, and thought I might only live to 45,” recalls Jo, who opted not to undergo the procedures. “Now I’m 68. I’d always wanted 12 kids and doctors telling me I couldn’t have any was devastating.”
So Jo and her now-late-husband Pete were “over the moon” when they unexpectedly found out they were pregnant with their first child, Benjamin, now 46. They also went on to have a daughter, Jennie-Leah, 45.
Around one year after becoming parents, the married teachers were inspired to help as many children as possible by becoming carers at what was then the Woodlands Road Family Group Home in Timaru.
That was in 1980 and since then, there hasn’t been a time that Jo hasn’t been “mum” to three to seven extra children.
“Every day was rewarding,” she smiles.
Some children would only stay for a matter of days, while others never left, like Jonathon, who they adopted at birth from a young woman on the marching team Jo coached.
“Jennie-Leah and Benjamin both made us promise that if any of Jonathon’s siblings came into care that we would take them too, and that’s how we ended up with five kids from that family,” she explains.
With Jo’s unwavering support, the children have flourished, with the last two siblings, Caylee, 18, and Arryn, 19, recently moving out of her home to pursue their passions.
“With all the kids, I felt if we could show them what it’s like to be part of a normal, loving family, then hopefully they would want that for their kids one day and would gain enough skills to break the cycle of why they came into care,” says Jo.
Over the years, many special moments have reassured Jo she was making a difference.
“When we shifted to Westport, we had one of their very first kids from the family home in Timaru visit us and thank us for all we’d done,” she recalls. “He was a little boy who came to us so scared and traumatised, he would hide in the closet. It was lovely that he came back as a grown man to say thank you.”
Asked where her drive to help others comes from, Jo remembers a particularly poignant childhood memory when her parents gave a frozen chicken they had been carefully saving for Christmas dinner to another family in need.
“We were as poor as church mice and I used to check the chicken was still in the freezer every day,” says Jo. “I felt so upset when my mum boxed it up, but it was for a colleague who hadn’t had proper food for over two weeks.
“That family invited us to join them for Christmas dinner, and when I saw how grateful and hungry these kids were, I couldn’t eat the chicken. Even though we were probably the poorest in our village, there was still room to give and love. It was the biggest lesson of my life and it’s sort of ruled me ever since. I don’t turn anyone away from my home if they’re hungry.”
This year, Jo retired from caring for long-term foster children and passed the baton to her daughter Jennie-Leah, now a carer.
But Jo’s busy as ever. She starts swimming with friends every morning at 7am, still takes on respite care roles, mentors local children, knits, sews and cooks for many in need.
“I haven’t learned not to cook for 12 each night yet,” she laughs.
Her home is always full during the school holidays as she looks after her foster children.
“I’m just Nanny Jo to everyone,” she tells.
With a constant need for more foster carers, Jo encourages others to see the potential in everyone.
“Foster children come from unfortunate situations, but they’re just kids who need loving, just like our other kids do.”
To find out more about becoming a carer, visit caringfamilies.org.nz
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