Baby’s first ultrasound scan can be a nerve-wracking moment for any expectant parent. It’s an opportunity to ensure the heart is beating and hear its reassuring thump-thump-thump, to count limbs and inspect the fast-developing facial features for any family traits. But Melissa and Callan, the parents of New Zealand’s most famous conjoined twins and who are expecting a new baby in March, were more anxious than most.
The last time they had been in the radiographer’s waiting room, they’d had no idea that Melissa was carrying not only twins, but twins connected at the spine, back and pelvis. Discovering this one-in-three-million anomaly had set them on a rollercoaster course of research, specialist visits, hospital stays, a complicated caesarean birth and, eventually, the successful separation of their darling twin girls – Abbey and Sarah – at five months of age.
This time around, says Callan (37), glancing at his pregnant partner, they were understandably jumpy. “I thought, ‘What are we in for?'” he laughs, as the couple settle down for an exclusive chat with New Zealand Woman’s Weekly. “I wondered, ‘How many babies will there be? Three?'” So when the scan showed one strong beating heart and no visible complications, it was a chance to breathe a sigh of relief.
Recalls Melissa (29) with a smile, “The radiographer told us there was only one baby and Callan groaned, ‘What a non-event!’ I had said to him earlier that I didn’t mind having twins again so long as they weren’t conjoined and Callan was kidding around, saying, ‘Why not? What’s wrong with the way Abbey and Sarah turned out?’ But the truth is, we’re lucky with the outcome we had with Abbey and Sarah and neither of us would want to go through all of that again – once is enough in anyone’s lifetime.”
on the advice of the twins’ surgeon, Askar Kukkady of Waikato Hospital, who led the team that separated them in a marathon 22-hour operation, Melissa and Callan waited until the girls turned five before embarking on a second pregnancy. “Why the delay? I think Askar just thought it would be easier for us to cope with another child once the twins were settled at school,” explains Melissa. “He wasn’t telling us we had no choice or demanding we do what he say, but he had our best interests at heart.”
It helped, too, that by the time they were in school, Abbey and Sarah would have completed a large number of the surgeries required to ensure they led active and normal lives. The twins turned fi ve in April and before the big day, Callan and Melissa, who own a takeaway store, discussed what sort of school they pictured for their children.
Like most parents, they wanted as much one-on-one attention for the girls as possible – inspired teachers, a supportive school environment and small class sizes. “Callan suggested we look at one of the Catholic schools,” says Melissa. “I laughed and said, ‘But neither of us is Catholic!’ Then Callan goes, ‘I am!’ In all our years together, I’d never known that about his family.”
The couple enrolled their gorgeous girls at St Michael’s Catholic School in Rotorua – “We just felt so comfortable and relaxed there,” says Callan – and decided to meet with the principal, Campbell Harrison, in case they needed to explain anything about the twins and their history.
“We sat down and he said, ‘I’m sure I’ve seen you guys somewhere before,'” says Callan. “He didn’t quite know how to place us – he didn’t know who we were. So we said, ‘You might have seen us in the Weekly,‘ and he said, ‘oh, that’s it.’ The nice thing was that he left it at that and so did we. We mentioned that we wanted the girls just to be themselves and not to be treated any differently to other students. And they’ve slotted right in, really.”
The girls’ softly spoken new entrants teacher, ors Tiedt, says the twins are a delight to have in the classroom – “always smiling”. The bubbly blonde youngsters already have masses of friends… and a not-so-secret male admirer. “A little boy came running up to me at the school one day and said, ‘I’m your daughters’ boyfriend!'” laughs Callan. “He got very upset when he found out you can only be married to one person at a time.”
Knowing the girls were thriving at school was a huge relief for Melissa and Callan – it was time to turn their attention to providing Abbey and Sarah with a little brother or sister. “I was determined not to wait any longer. I didn’t want to be an old dad,” Callan smiles.
They had been trying for a few months without success when a home pregnancy test confirmed Melissa’s suspicion she was pregnant. once they’d reached the crucial 12-week mark with no concerns, it was time to tell the girls.
“We just assumed they’d be ecstatic. We were all sitting around one night and Callan said, ‘Gee, oum’s getting fat, isn’t she?’ They said, ‘No, she’s not!’ Callan replied, ‘Maybe there’s a baby in there!’ And they kind of just accepted it and ran off to play!”
“But,” continues Melissa, “since then they’ve become more and more excited. They’ve gone shopping with my mum and come back having picked out quite a few baby clothes – some blue and some pink. It’s really sweet.” Melissa predicts Abbey will take to the new baby – whose gender is not yet known – with more enthusiasm.
“She’s very nurturing with babies. Sarah’s kind of interested but takes more of a back seat! oind you, I took her with me to the 12-week scan and she was buzzing out. And for my 20-week scan, everyone came and had a look at the wee baby – that was really cool.”
Callan and Melissa are expecting an adjustment period while the twins get used to having their lives overtaken by a newborn. But, says Callan, “We’re planning to spend some one-on-one time with them too, to make the transition a bit easier.” The girls remain the best of friends – they still sleep in one bed, trip over each other’s sentences and love to play together. But their mum and dad see very different personalities emerging as time passes.
“If Abbey throws a paddy, she really throws a paddy!” Melissa laughs. “Callan reckons she’s like me. She had a huge tantrum recently that went on for about half an hour. In the end, we had to put her outside until she calmed down. Sarah’s more chilled out and a bit more rough and ready. In the morning, Abbey will spend ages doing her hair – she gets the gel out and makes sure it’s all fl at and done perfectly, while Sarah will just tie it up messily and run out the door!”
And the girls are both bright – reading hungrily, relishing each new word and taking any opportunity to paint or draw. Ask them how much they understand about the amazing history they share and they explain it in a very simple way. “We got stuck together,” says Sarah without so much as a hint of drama. “Askar took us to surgery…”
“And,” finishes Abbey, “he cut us in half.” Melissa keeps a clippings folder for the girls so that when they are older and start asking questions, they will have plenty of reference material about themselves and other conjoined twins to refer to.
“I want them to know they’re not alone – that there are other kids who have gone through what they have,” she smiles. Sadly, though, it’s not the end of surgeries for Abbey and Sarah. Abbey, for instance, needs an operation on her arm to have her muscles detached and reattached, but is taking it in her stride.
“She understands it’s on the cards,” explains Melissa. “She wants to get it done because it’s hard for her to keep up with Sarah on the monkey bars and in the swimming pool!”
For now, this little, contented family is getting on with the business of living and growing. Each twin picked up an award for diligence at the end-of-year school prizegiving – a thrilling moment for their delighted parents. There are names to dream up for their new brother or sister. And school starts again soon. Abbey and Sarah can’t wait.
“We’re proud of our girls,” says Melissa, smiling at her cherubs, who are dressed in frilly pink dresses and gumboots. “They’re strong, they’re not shy and they’ve fi tted into school really well. They’re happy. And it’s nice to know that they will have each other forever.”
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