Let’s be honest – you don’t have to Google or look for diet information to hear unsolicited advice. It’s everywhere. We live in a diet culture. It can feel like we are bombarded with advice that goes along the lines of, “Come on, what’s wrong with you? Just eat less, move your bum more and you’ll be fit.”
- We are considered lazy if we don’t have the energy to work out.
- Broken if we just can’t lose weight.
- Not motivated enough when we eat something that is unhealthy.
- Looked down upon because we are lost in the sea of (mis)information.
It only takes about five seconds on social media to believe something is wrong with us for not already doing something that someone believes is the only correct way to live. Wait, you don’t do Pilates? Wait, you don’t drink this drink when you wake up? OMG, you don’t X, Y and Z? No wonder you’re struggling. It’s your fault.
The diet culture just perpetuates and repeats what many women already tell themselves in their head: “I’m not good enough, skinny enough and motivated/ smart/sexy enough.”
Let’s clear the air
If you only knew what your fat does for you, you would never look in the mirror and hate it again! Let’s take a moment to clear the air between you and your fat cells.
Have you ever paused and deeply contemplated how you feel within the contours of your body? It’s not just about the tangible sense of touch or comfort, but an emotional and psychological alignment – or, sometimes, it’s about a profound lack thereof.
For some, the body serves as a haven, a familiar refuge. But for others – maybe you – it may feel more like an unfamiliar or even a hostile terrain.
When you look in the mirror, what do you feel? Do you get overwhelmed with multiple feelings of estrangement or unease? It’s fascinating how our internal perception of our external “human suit” can cast long shadows over our interactions, self-esteem and even our mental wellbeing.
Not feeling safe or even connected to your body can be a heavy thing to carry, affecting not just your relationship with yourself, but also with the world at large. Such feelings may beckon a deeper understanding and perhaps a journey toward reconciliation with yourself.
Your suit
Let’s start by reconciling with those fat cells. Have you ever wondered what fat cells do? No, they don’t only make you “look fat”. I like to think of my fat as my “safety suit”. We store fat for three main reasons.
- It’s there to protect our organs like a thermal insulator and bubble wrap combined.
- Fat releases hormones like leptin, which regulates appetite and energy, and stores fat-soluble hormones, such as vitamin D.
- The body likes to have a secret stash of food (nutrients) for a rainy day. Fat is a storage for energy to pull from whenever there is a caloric deficit, such as during fasting or intense physical activity.
If you have some extra fat, it’s likely your body is overwhelmed with all the processes it’s already doing. It’s either getting too many toxins, which confuse your hormones, or too much sugar that can’t metabolise fast enough. So to make sure you don’t die, sugar is stashed in fat cells in case it is needed later. That means fat is actually protecting you from a challenging lifestyle and diet circumstances.
Safety mode
When your body does not feel safe and your sympathetic nervous system (the part of your brain that regulates the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response) is in high gear, there is a message circulating to every organ, tissue and cell of your body, sounding the alarm: “What’s happening out there is very unpredictable.”
The automatic parts of your brain-body connection can’t distinguish between stress caused by a deadline at work and stress caused by the possibility of having to hide in the forest from a tiger for a week with very little food. All it knows is that its primary job is to keep you alive, so it will start stashing away some extra fat to ensure you have provisions for survival.
I say over and over again: fasting without feasting is starvation and pushing your body without appropriate rest is torture. Mainstream starvation diets put our bodies in a constant state of stress: intense workouts lead to calorie deficits when paired with a strict, low-fat diet. The body can’t grasp that this is deliberate and intentional stress. All it knows is it’s time to go into safety mode.
Appreciate you
Let’s have a little heart-to-heart about our bodies.
- First off, name three things about yours that you’re genuinely thankful for today. Got ’em? Awesome.
- Now think about that moment when you’re super- comfy in your skin. Maybe it’s chilling on your couch or laughing with friends. What about those times when you feel like an absolute boss – like when you’re dancing, hiking, pursuing a hobby that gives you life or just doing everyday stuff?
- Now here’s a deeper one: What does it feel like to truly feel safe in your body? Can you remember when your body totally wowed you with its strength or bounce-back game?
Let’s talk about the simple things, like how amazing the feeling of warm sun is on your skin, or the comforting sensation of a cosy blanket. Have you ever noticed how great it feels to take a deep, nourishing breath? And what about those moments when you get a sudden burst of energy like your body’s trying to tell you something?
Think about those things. Think about everything your body can do and everything it has already done. How can you honour its constant efforts to keep you safe? How can you trust it? How can you acknowledge that its automatic responses – which you may not always love – are evidence of the hard work of keeping you alive? How can you be 100 percent present in your body – fat cells and all – even for just a moment or two today?
Make friends with your fat
Here are some journal prompts to help you embrace and love your body fat
- List three ways your body fat has served you in the past. This could include providing energy, keeping you warm or protecting your organs.
- Write a letter to your body fat, thanking it for the ways it supports your health and wellbeing. Now write another letter apologising to your fat cells for all the times you have hated them.
- Write a letter to your future self and thank it for the many things it will see you through and protect you from in the coming weeks, months and years.
- How does your body feel when you embrace all parts of it, including your fat? How does it feel to know that you are perfect the way you are and there’s nothing you need to do to become prettier or better? Describe these sensations.
- Body fat is a superpower because it helps us to survive and also to thrive. How does it feel to think about your body fat in this way?
- Think about the warmth provided by body fat in cold weather. How does this make you feel?
Remember every part of your body, including your body fat, contributes to the unique, beautiful individual that you are. It’s more than okay to appreciate and love all aspects of your body.
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