Nigel Latta, author of Lessons On Living, is a household name. And for good reason: the kind-hearted psychologist became a much-loved broadcaster and best-selling author, able to entertain and educate in the same breath.
But in 2024, tragedy struck and Nigel was diagnosed with stomach cancer. To make it even more harrowing, he’d married his soulmate, Dr Natalie Flynn, just six months prior.
“When we got the news, we went into shock,” says Natalie, author of Smart Mothering and a highly regarded psychologist.
“It did help that we both knew we were experiencing shock, that it would subside and we wouldn’t be stuck in those feelings forever. But at the time, it was pure terror.”
As leaders in the mental health field, Natalie and Nigel were arguably better placed than most to navigate such a rocky road, but it was still devastating.
“It’s been a year since Nigel passed, and I have good days and bad days,” Natalie tells.
Learning to live with grief
Recently, she reached out to her dear friend and colleague Dr Tony Fernando, author of Life Hacks from the Buddha, during a rough patch.
“I asked Tony for a life hack for grief because it was like being back at the beginning. Tony suggested I look at grief like the stock market. You think you’re on an upswing, then it drops, so you need to look at the overall trends.”
Even so, Natalie admits to occasional bouts of PTSD.
“I still find it intolerable that Nigel isn’t alive, but I am learning to come to terms with that more as time goes on,” she shares.
It helps that Natalie needs to be present for her 16-year-old son, the youngest of her three children, with the elder two already having flown the nest.
“He is lucky to have been co-parented by Nigel and having him around helps me focus on the second of Nigel’s three principles from his book Lessons on Living, which is to focus on what you can control, which really helps anchor me,” Natalie says.
Making every moment count
Following his diagnosis, Nigel and Natalie were determined to pack more love into 16 months than many manage in a lifetime.
“I will always be grateful for the time we had and even though I miss Nigel, I am coping, and I know to be assertive and ask my friends for help when I need it.”
Work helps too.
“I feel my best at work as it teaches my brain that this is the new normal, that I have a purpose, which is like a little holiday from grief,” Natalie says.
“When Nigel was unwell, he loved seeing clients with me, for us to be doing something outside ourselves with a larger purpose. And Nigel is still in my head, guiding my choices.”
Nigel’s final book is also a lasting legacy, packed with tools for navigating all the gritty things life can throw at us.
“It was by far the work Nigel was most proud of,” Natalie adds.
“He put so much of himself into it, his values and skills. He says it almost wrote itself and when I read it, I hear his voice.”
She believes Nigel would have been delighted with the TV series Lessons on Living hosted by fellow psychologist John Aiken.
“The producers had already secured funding for the series before he passed away,” says Natalie.
“He was so pleased that the advice in his book would be on television. He always wanted to demystify psychology and make it accessible to as many people as possible.”
Finding joy after loss
In the series, Natalie reads out a letter that Nigel penned for her before he died. In it, he wrote, “Sadness and grief now is okay, but I want you to find joy again. That is my wish for you more than anything.”
Natalie admits filming that part of the series was emotional for her.
“Reading it in front of John was difficult, but also felt a bit cathartic as well. Nigel’s words felt like a gift that he gave to me. People often feel guilty and don’t give themselves permission to find happiness after a loved one passes. It’s nice that Nigel gave me permission.”
That doesn’t mean it is easy for Natalie.
“Joy is a really big ask because it’s quite a strong emotion at any time of your life, even if things are going well. But Nigel really made me believe in big love. “Before he passed, he was all about finding love in various forms in different places. I certainly look for that and find it in different ways – through purpose, my children, my clients and through a loving connection with friends. So I have certainly found contentment and occasionally sprinkles of joy.”
Lessons on Living screens Wedensday, October 14 at 8.30pm on Sky Open, ThreeNow and Neon. from October 14.
