Pictures: Robert Trathen
Watching Marianne Infante reflect on the trauma of her early pregnancy during a 10-minute Instagram reel, you can’t help but brace for impact.
Tearful but refreshingly real, the Shortland Street actress delves into both the joy and the terror of her first trimester during the video – one that ultimately saw her fighting for her baby’s life.
And while it was a battle that, as Marianne very candidly confides, could have ended so, so badly, it’s clear the feisty Filipina was able to harness every ounce of strength and optimism to come through with her unborn child hearty, healthy and unharmed.
“I was in so much pain. Twisting, excruciating pain,” recalls Marianne, during a break on the set of the long-running TVNZ soap. “It was the kind of pain that just needed to be screamed out of me.”
Marianne has played nurse Madonna Diaz on the show since 2021. Now, she’s talking about her experience with an ovarian torsion. It’s a medical emergency that occurs when an ovary twists around itself, causing sudden, searing pain.
Newly pregnant and absolutely thrilled about it, Marianne and her partner Daryll had attended an early scan to confirm dates. They were eager to see their “little peanut” prior to sharing the news more widely.
Determined “not to conform to secrecy around the early stages of pregnancy”, she and Daryll had already spilled the beans to close friends, as well as Marianne’s sister Mae, but were still to reveal to Marianne’s mum and dad that they were about to be grandparents for the very first time.
However, just 30 minutes after the excitement of their scan, the 29-year-old was in the emergency ward at Waitākere Hospital. She was crying out in agony, surrounded by staff and her sister – a student doctor who was visiting the siblings’ parents in Christchurch – supporting her via phone.
“Everything felt like it was crumbling really quick,” shares Marianne. “I was drifting in and out of consciousness, squeezing Daryll’s hand. At the same time, my mother and father could hear me screaming to my sister. That’s how they found out I was hapū.”
Multitalented Marianne, who runs the Proudly Asian Theatre company with her friend Chye-Ling Huang, says there were two things that got her through those long hours while she waited for surgery to save her ovary and her baby – breathing exercises and prayer.
“In that moment, I honestly felt like I needed a higher power on my side,” tells Marianne. “But I realised I didn’t know how to pray. Although I was born and raised in a Catholic family, and have mad respect for the religion, I don’t personally practise it. So it was a big identity learning for me to understand that while I’m pragmatic and knew I was doing everything I could to make sure my baby was good, there was about 10% of me that relied on my spiritual side.”
Calling on help to find the words that might guide her baby to safety, Marianne says she was surprised to find that in her moment of need, English evaded her. “I realised I could only express myself in my first and second languages, Tagalog and Kapampangan.”
She credits the “incredible” Filipino nursing team at the hospital for being at her side. They were responsive in whatever language she was able to use.
“There’s a lot of talk in the media about hospitals requiring nursing staff to speak only English while they’re at work,” she says. “Well, let me tell you, I was not able to access my third language at that point. Regardless, their care for me was so impressive.”
As for the breathing exercises, Marianne laughs as she describes how Chye-Ling, who arrived to help her through her ordeal, switched from best friend into “drama coach”.
“She talked me through how to breathe in and then breathe the pain out. Being pregnant, I wasn’t able to have much more than a very small amount of morphine.
“Honestly, I’m so pleased my friends knew about my pregnancy. That way, I didn’t have to carry the extra mental load of catching them up on what I felt like I could be losing in that moment,” says Marianne. She was born in the Philippines but spent her young life in Christchurch. “Every one of them was so supportive during and after my surgery. They were so crucial to us keeping the faith.”
Marianne describes herself as “a tiny human growing a tiny human”. She’s reaching the end of her second trimester and readies herself to meet her little one this summer.
Candid about her struggles with body dysmorphia, which she shared with Woman’s Day back in February, she says although she was delighted when her baby belly began showing at around 10 weeks, the remarks of others around her could grate.
“I got lots of comments like, ‘Are you sure it’s not twins in there?’ which got old really fast!” she laughs. “It’s interesting how people feel they have the right to comment about your pregnant body. One of my friends even said to me, ‘Wow! You’re really letting your gut hang out,’ and I was like ‘Um, what am I supposed to do with it exactly?’”
Marianne says now that the surgery is behind her, baby is thriving and her ovary saved, she’s feeling “really good”. She’s been eating lots in small amounts to ward off nausea and working full-time. Lately, she’s also been getting deep into the nesting phase of the pregnancy.
“I’ve become so attuned to my body. I know when the baby’s tired because I need to nap. Then, I know the days when they’re hungry because I need two breakfasts!” she tells. “And the team at work has been so gracious and generous. They’re always making sure there’s always a chair nearby on the days I’m extra breathless or dizzy. I’m pretty good at communicating how I feel so that my colleagues will work out how to collaborate with me on that specific day.”
She says she’s also aware that as an actor who navigates some “crazy, hilarious and dramatic storylines”, her baby is also feeling what she feels. “So I’ve been really mindful to prepare myself mentally before I go into some of my scenes. Then I have to properly decompress post-work.”
Daryll is a data analyst from Mauritius who speaks French as his native language. He’s already showing all the qualities of a devoted father.
“He reads to my belly every night – usually Le Petite Prince because it’s his favourite,” she says. “I knew he’d step up, but he’s utterly blown me away by how present and caring he has been.”
Not to mention organised.
“I remember going to the Baby Show, which is the most overwhelming place for any first-timer,” she muses. “We really just wanted to see what sort of stuff we might need to buy. But I struggle with big crowds and I struggle with shopping, so it was basically my worst nightmare.
“Daryll knew that. So the day before, he made a checklist of baby essentials that he’d cross-checked with the stands we’d visit. I was like, ‘You are so hot right now and I’m so happy you’re my baby-daddy!’ He’s a fantasy. My dream man! And I feel so much pride in knowing I’ve picked the right person to make a little human with.”
Together, the pair has written quite possibly the world’s most detailed birthing plan.
“As well as an actor, I’m a producer, so I guess I’ve produced it!” Marianne laughs. “I figure labour is going to be the scariest, most painful time in my life. But it’ll all be ok, because now I have a call sheet! And it says that if this person’s not free, here’s the person you call next!”
After more than a year of trying for this much-longed-for baby, the pain and anguish of feeling like it could all be lost, and now the excitement of what’s to come, Marianne says her biggest concern right now is how to hide her stomach behind inanimate objects on the Shorty set.
“I secretly hope the viewers are all playing a wee game to see if they can spot the bump!” she jokes.
“Truly, I feel so great now because of my village and that wraparound support. I don’t think I would have been prepared for this chapter in my life if it hadn’t been for the amazing community I’m a part of.
“In theatre, if your dress rehearsal goes horribly wrong, you know the main show is going to be alright. So, I feel like the next phase will be wonderful. I’ve learned what is key for getting through these hectic years.”
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