Kiwi sporting legend Honey Hireme-Smiler and her wife Rochelle are about to celebrate an important anniversary they once feared they might never reach. The first of December will mark five years since Rochelle was diagnosed with metastatic cancer of the bile ducts and given six to 12 months to live.
“We always said we wanted Rochelle to be part of the 5% of people with stage-four cholangiocarcinoma who make it past five years and we’re about to be part of that, which is huge,” says Honey, 45, who has represented New Zealand in league, rugby and sevens.
And there’s more good news – Rochelle has been off cancer treatment for the past eight months and the disease has not progressed.
“Your life goes on hold when you’re on treatment,” says Rochelle, 44, “so to just have the freedom and the energy to do what I enjoy has been amazing.”
Honey adds, “It’s been a really good year for Rochelle. Life is great right now.”
Both women have new work roles and two more mokopuna have joined the wha¯nau in recent months, bringing their total to four. Their Hamilton home is getting busier too – they’ve opened it to their niece Emily, 20, and nephew Timoti, 13, while Rochelle’s son Tyronne and his family are about to move in as well.
“We’re about to become a full house of nine, plus two dogs and a cat!” laughs Honey. “But the more our whānau grows, it just makes us stronger as a couple.”
Five years beyond the odds
If life gets too hectic, Honey and Rochelle can escape in their motorhome. They’ve covered most of the North Island and are now planning a South Island adventure – but only after Honey finishes her stint commentating the Rugby League World Cup, a competition she’s played in four times and won twice, for Sky Sport.
Five years ago, the couple’s future looked very different. When Rochelle began itching all over, a CT scan confirmed a rare, aggressive cholangiocarcinoma.
The cancer spread to her ovaries, lower abdomen, lungs and lymph nodes. The diagnosis blindsided both women, coming just 18 months after Honey’s beloved mum Caryn, died from stomach cancer. But they were determined to do everything to give Rochelle the best possible chance.
Over the past five years, she’s undergone 70 rounds of palliative chemotherapy, 12 procedures to insert stents in her bile ducts and a full hysterectomy. Her most
recent treatment, in February, was a new combination of chemo drugs that was particularly tough on her.
“I had a full day’s infusion at the clinic, but I’d come home wearing a little pump that slowly released chemo into me over the next 48 hours,” says Rochelle. “I went to work carrying this thing and my body usually reacts well to chemo, without too many side effects, but this really took its toll.”
Having been by her wife’s side through it all, Honey is buoyed by the latest medical milestone.
“It’s the longest she’s been off treatment since we began this journey back in December 2021,” she says. “We live scan to scan. Rochelle’s results show her cancer continues to be stable, which is awesome.”
Living life to the fullest
With more energy, Rochelle is a regular at the gym.
“She does more training than me,” laughs Honey, whose multi-code sporting achievements saw her nicknamed “Honey Bill Williams” and honoured
with the New Zealand Order of Merit.
Now Rochelle has set herself another challenge – a Hyrox indoor fitness event.
“I want to do the doubles event with Honey, but she’s not keen,” laughs Rochelle. “We might have to push it out another year.”
She’s also back working four days a week as a property manager for Mana Services, helping to house homeless rangatahi in the Waikato. Her understanding employers allow her the flexibility to work from home if she’s feeling unwell, but there’s one day Rochelle won’t compromise on – Mondays are devoted
to being a grandma.
Whānau at the heart of everything
Honey and Rochelle adore their granddaughter and three grandsons. Rochelle’s eldest son Tyronne is a dad of three and her youngest Kieran just welcomed his first child. Honey also has a son named Karasharn, who’s now 22.
“Mondays are Mokopuna Day, when I get to have them and we do things together,” says Rochelle, who is of Nga¯ti Porou, Te Wha¯nau Akai and Waituhi descent. “I love that I get to enjoy a whole day with them.”
Soon Tyronne, his partner Kiara and their kids will be temporarily under the same roof as Honey and Rochelle, until they buy their first home. Rochelle smiles, “It will be nice to have the mokos around us.”
It took the couple a little while to adjust when teen Timoti moved in, so he could attend a nearby kura kaupapa, but Rochelle says, “Having our nephew here has brought life back into our home. It’s just been me and Honey for ages, but having others here has given us a new dynamic.”
New chapters and fresh opportunities
Honey has started a new role at Hospice Waikato as a pou tikanga, providing cultural leadership and helping staff work within te ao Ma¯ori to ensure equitable end-of-life care for patients. The role gives her the chance to put her reo into practice after completing an eight-month immersion programme at the University of Waikato.
“It was hard, frustrating mahi, but it was awesome and exciting,” says Honey, who has Raukawa, Ngāti Hauā and Ngāti Whakaue heritage. “A lot of trauma and anxiety came up for me, but I met some amazing people and had a brilliant kaiako [teacher].
“Now it’s about continuing the learning. I haven’t come out fluent – it’s a journey I’m on for the rest of my life – but I was recently at my auntie’s tangi, and it was cool being able to listen, understand and laugh at the jokes. And now I can speak te reo with my 96-year-old nan.”
Honey is also doing kapa haka, recently performing at the Tainui regional competition, but sport remains a vital part of her life. Alongside presenting rugby and league for Sky Sport, she’s a New Zealand Rugby League board member, a national selector and a coach of the under-17 Aotearoa Ma¯ori women’s side.
Of commentating on Warriors games, she says,
“My first few years covering their games, when they weren’t doing so well, was like being in the trenches, but now they’re thriving. It’s been awesome as a broadcaster and a fan as well.”
Rochelle and Honey have now been together for 14 years, recently marking their seventh wedding anniversary with a stay at the Mokoroa Retreat, which offers respite for wha¯nau living with an advanced cancer diagnosis, in Auckland’s Waita¯kere Ranges. “It was so beautiful chasing waterfalls, taking walks and having massages,” says Honey.
In November, the pair are off to Rarotonga, then over summer, they’ll drive their motorhome around the South Island, joined by their dogs Rongoa¯ and Hu¯ma¯rie.
“We borrowed the motorhome from my dad and haven’t given it back!” laughs Honey. “We’re slowly paying it off. We just love roaming the country in it.”
