Kate Cameron is a 29-year-old mum to be, who starred on the 2016 season of The Bachelor NZ. She’ll be writing an exclusive column for us every fortnight, sharing her journey to new motherhood, and her real – not perfect – take on life.
“I’m now 22 weeks pregnant, which means I have been wearing a uniform of dresses and undies for 18 weeks straight (basically since I found out I was actually pregnant).
You might think I needn’t mention the undies. But now, I’m seriously considering going commando.
From now on I would like to set downstairs free until this beautiful bundle of pinkness is out of me. You may not want to know this, but over the course of a day when your pregnant – every single body part gets so hot and clammy, it feels like a room that hasn’t been aired for a weekend. Sorry for the visual.
By the time I haul myself into my car after work, I’m literally starting the engine and removing my knickers at the same time.
I blast the air con on high and the windows are wound down (yes I know there is no logic to this, but such is my quest for cool).
Recently I was caught at the lights by a van of tradies who caught me mid ‘de-briefing.’ They all smiled and winked at me, rather impressed with my skill. I wound down my window and said: ‘the things we have to do when 22 weeks pregnant!’ I left them all scrambling for words and drove off realising I should maybe save my costume changes for more private locations.
I’m not peeling off my lingerie like some sexy Victoria Secret model, instead I am sliding off my dishcloth sized panties that you probably could have purchased from DEKA twenty years ago.
And don’t even get me started on wearing bras. After a full day of wearing one I feel like I’ve been sitting in a straight jacket for eight hours.
One day before work I thought bugger it, I’m going to set my twinies free, until I realized that if by some slim chance we had a fire alarm drill at work, I may have to slightly ‘jog’ outside and during this process I could actually knock myself out with Pamela and Rachel (my newly discovered boobs).
Suddenly my breasts have become not only uncomfortable but an actual hazard.
My quest for comfort hasn’t stopped there.
While I’ve always loved dressing up, especially when going out to a nice restaurant with friends and family, but now I cannot actually face high heels.
After re-applying my makeup, curling my hair and putting on a nice summer dress for dinner out the other day, I had to team the look with my running shoes in order to stay comfy and sane.
I looked like someone Trinny and Susannah might kidnap and tell off in the changing rooms, bemoaning my lack of style.
But you see, I’m at the stage where I am obviously pregnant. My baby bump is big and there are bumps appearing left, right and center that I didn’t ever realize could turn into bumps!
My clothes cannot keep up with these changes and neither can I. I’ve even noticed Alfie our dog looking at me intently after I get out of the shower. Its almost a look of ‘well who ate all the pies?!’
To get through the next couple of months I’ve come up with a ‘comfort game plan,’ which I thought I’d share with you.
1.Contact Paul Henry and find out where the local nudist beaches are. On my work lunch break this is where you will find me.
2.I will also do my research on where Homer Simpson found his MuuMuu (big Hawaiian shirt) and I will consult the Fashion Quarterly team around how I can wear it five ways.
3.Undies. I will have to wear these work hours, but trust me, if you see me out walking the dog after work there will be a 100% chance I will be walking commando. Do not be alarmed.
4.Shoes. Are roman sandals still cool? Were they ever cool? I don’t actually care. I think they will suffice just fine compared to my work heels. And more importantly they will go well with my MuuMuu.
5.Finally I will go and purchase a dinner tray. The ones Americans apparently use to eat their TV dinners with. I will rest my tray on the top of my belly while I eat my dinner in comfort. Bliss.
Yes I realise there are plenty more ‘uncomfortable moments’ to come, but it’s a learning curve and I’m just taking it day by day. Who knows, maybe when I go into labour I’ll hop straight out of bed nude and only put my running shoes on channeling Bridget Jones as she ran after Mr Darcy in the snow…
Read the next installment of Kate’s pregnancy column in two weeks.
