Jade Hart always knew she wanted to be a mum. As one of three kids, the respected Auckland PR guru had such a happy childhood growing up with two siblings, she always imagined she’d also have three children.
Romance blossomed early on. Jade was just 15 when she met her future husband James, then 17, at a teenage party.
She recalls, “James and I were introduced by one of our mutual best mates who we’re still friends with today. We got him and his wife together too!”
After 10 years, James proposed to Jade at his mum Beverly’s house.
A special proposal
“Beverly had sadly passed away a few years earlier and James invited both our families to witness him getting down on one knee,” shares Jade.
“We felt Bevvy there that day. I swear the lights flickered and the umbrella lifted in the air as if she was cheering for us.’’
While everything seemed to be falling into place, that all changed when, after two years of wedded bliss, the couple started trying for a baby.
Fertility struggles begin
“I was 29 when I came off the Pill, then I went a year without having a period,” explains Jade, who went on to receive a diagnosis of polycystic ovarian syndrome.
Referred to a fertility clinic, she started taking a drug called Clomid.
“But after 10 rounds with no success, we realised it was something more serious.”
A decade of heartbreak
Ten years of heartbreak followed, during which Jade discovered her Fallopian tubes were blocked and the only way to keep her baby dream alive was to go on a waiting list for in-vitro fertilisation (IVF).
“I was 33 when we started,” Jade says of the process that produced nine healthy embryos.
“After years of trying, our son Leo arrived from our second frozen embryo transfer.”
Struggling for baby number two
Besotted, the parents decided to try for a sibling for Leo, but getting pregnant a second time proved even more challenging, with the couple experiencing multiple failed transfers and three miscarriages. Jade was eventually diagnosed with Asherman’s syndrome, a rare form of uterine scarring, likely from the emergency procedure that followed one of her miscarriages.
“There came a point later when the doctors told us our best chance was surrogacy,” she tells.
“And even though that felt so foreign, we were willing to try anything.”
A friend steps in
Generously, her childhood friend Abby stepped in.
“Abby is a beautiful soul, and together we went through months of counselling and approvals, which led to another round of IVF. Three frozen embryos were transferred and Abby got pregnant twice. But we lost both of those babies, which was absolutely devastating for all of us.”
When the final embryo failed to take, Jade felt broken.
“I had to accept that Leo would be our only child and that our journey to give him a sibling was over,” she recalls.
A natural miracle
Then came the miracle they’d only dreamt of. Two months later, Jade conceived naturally – something doctors had said would never happen.
“After everything my body had been through, I couldn’t believe it,” she enthuses
Despite battling severe morning sickness and constant fear, little Max was born healthy at 39 weeks.
“From the moment I heard his first cry, all the pain of the previous decade melted away,” Jade shares.
“Our family was complete.”
Life-saving challenges
Even then, challenges continued and, a week after Max was born, she suffered a massive haemorrhage that led to a life-saving hysterectomy and three blood transfusions.
“I survived and that’s what matters!” she marvels. Of course, Jade still bears the scars from the many physically and mentally harrowing procedures she endured to have her boys. Yet she’s proud to share her story because, even though she and James came close to losing hope, they never gave up. “I still can’t believe it some days that we have our two beautiful boys after all we went through,” says Jade.
“Leo is nine now, and such a smart, caring and gorgeous boy. Max just turned four and he’s our little ray of sunshine.Our boys are everything we dreamt they’d be.”
Giving back
Today, Jade volunteers with Fertility NZ hosting a monthly coffee catch-up to help others who are struggling to conceive.
“Fertility is still such a taboo subject,” reflects Jade.
“But the more we talk about it, the less alone women will feel. For so long, I felt isolated, as if nobody understood what I was going through. “But my boys are living proof that miracles can happen – even when the odds are stacked against you. And if sharing my story gives even one person hope, then all the heartbreak was worth it!”
November is International Fertility Month. If you need help with fertility issues, go to fertilitynz.org.nz.
