Family

Sick of signature move

Dear Wendyl, oy boyfriend has always bragged about his “signature move” in bed. I won’t go into details but he calls it “The Wriggle” and it’s not bad. My problem is that he is so pleased with himself that he never does anything else. Every time we have sex I know that any minute “The Wriggle” is on its way. How do I get him to move onto something a bit less performance-based now that we are in a steady relationship and he doesn’t have to impress me?*

Tina, Wellington*

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Dear Tina, Your letter had me laughing my head off, so thank you for cheering me up. First of all, I think it’s great that he bothers to have a “signature move” because many men don’t bother. But he is making the mistake of thinking sex is a performance, like driving a car fast, rather than a connection, which most women prefer. I once read a magazine story about men’s tricks in bed, and the one that impressed me most was the man who said that after sex he held her close and traced tiny circles all over her back with his finger. Nice. As usual, my advice on sexual matters is communication. Choose your time for this chat. Don’t do it in bed or around any sexual activity. Do it next time you’re enjoying some time together over a glass of wine and bring it up in a casual way. Suggest that instead of “The Wriggle” he concentrates on “The Snuggle”.Wendyl

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