Suzy Gasson
When the Weekly rings mother-of-13 Kata Nukunuku Rota for our interview, she has snuck away to the family’s eight-seater van alone – one of the few places at home she can ensure an uninterrupted chat, while husband Daniel is holding down the fort inside.
Soft spoken and gentle-natured, Kata shares that life in a whānau as large as hers is often loud, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.
“In my heart, I always wanted a big family,” smiles Kata, 37, before admitting Daniel, 44, would be delighted if they added a 14th baby to their brood.
Together, they share eight children. Kata has two from a previous relationship and Daniel has three.
“Daniel has been begging me for another one, but I’ve said no,” she laughs. “The other night, he told me he had a dream that we had another baby and took that as a sign.”
A beautiful blended family
Nine tamariki from their blended whānau live at home, and their four mokopuna and adult children are often around the dinner table too, where Kata is renowned for serving up hearty meals like hāngī pie and banana pudding.
Smiling, Kata shares it’s a fine balance of planners, lists and alarms that keep everything running – and the washing pile is never fully conquered.
Last year, however, after starting Facebook and TikTok accounts that gave a glimpse into her everyday life, Kata realised others love seeing how she manages the logistics of super-sized family life.
“I don’t want to pretend that I’m this patient Mother Teresa,” she laughs. “But I do try to appreciate the time spent with my kids because it does go extremely fast.”
Sharing her life online
From how she spends the family’s $800 weekly grocery budget to how to feed 11 for under $40, or tips and encouragement for other busy mums, she opens up about it all with her more than 23,000 followers online.
The children share five bedrooms in their rented Napier home, and have an eight-seater dining table, with kitchen stools and lounge chairs often pulled up for extra seating. The whānau owns three vehicles: a van, a truck and a Suzuki Swift for the teens. Two kids walk to school and one takes the bus.
In part, Kata attributes her calm approach to the daily hustle to her beloved Daniel, whom she met through his sister 19 years ago.
“Teamwork with hubby is super-important,” she insists.
The pair volunteer as youth leaders at their church and both work full-time at the local primary school, where four of their kids and one of their grandchildren are pupils. Kata is a teacher aide, while Daniel is the caretaker and has the school’s cleaning contract.
“It’s a blessing,” Kata says of spending their days together. “It helps me feel more connected and in tune with their needs.”
Working as a team
Occasionally, Kata, who holds a certificate in business and dreams of being self-employed one day, helps Daniel with his school cleaning, choosing to see it as “a little date”.
“Even though we’re working, I’m still in his presence,” she enthuses. “I’ve married a great man.”
Eighteen months ago, the couple tied the knot at Hawke’s Bay’s Kahuranaki Marae, where their children surprised them with a moving haka. A wedding had been on the cards for most of their relationship, but the plan was to wait until they had saved more money for the big day.
However, after joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints three years ago, Daniel was determined for his darling Kata to be his wife.
Queen of the kitchen
At home, Kata is queen of the kitchen, but they share most other responsibilities, including the bedtime and before-school routines. All of their children also help out with chores and maintaining their home.
Reflecting on what she has learned as a mother over the past two decades, Kata explains that, instead of traditional discipline, she often opts for hugs, believing that teaching kids to regulate their emotions yields better results.
But she’s quick to add, just like most, she gets overwhelmed and doesn’t want others to mistakenly believe she’s a perfect parent.
“Even though we’ve been parenting for a minute, it’s still a learning curve for us and we just do our best,” says Kata.
When all her children eventually leave home, Kata thinks she’ll miss the noise most. Even when she’s exhausted, she often joins the kids in board games.
“When we come together, just hearing my kids laughing and getting along, that’s beautiful,” smiles Kata.
“Being young parents wasn’t really part of the plan. But I feel like it’s been the biggest blessing life has had to offer. I would choose my children in every lifetime. I wouldn’t trade this life for the world.”
Follow Kata at facebook.com and tiktok.com
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