Dear Wendyl, I love my job and never felt like taking a sickie or days off. But recently a guy at work has started coming on to me. He does it in a really subtle way so I feel uncomfortable but there is nothing concrete happening, like pinching my bum or sending emails. He just engages me in conversation all the time and sits on my desk talking to me when I’m trying to get work done. How can I get him to leave me alone? I just want to do my job but I’ve started taking days off to avoid him. Stacey, email
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Dear Stacey, I bet this guy is boring, married and not very good-looking as well. This is so easy to deal with because he’s a wimp and I think he is preying on you because you are too polite to tell him to bugger off, which is what you need to do.
First, practise the cold shoulder. When he comes to talk to you just keep staring at your screen or reading a report with total focus. He’ll wander off once he realises you’re ignoring him. If he persists, then you just need to take some rescue remedy, count to 10 and say these words, “I’m sorry, I’m really busy today and don’t have time to talk.” Then get up and go to the toilet or somewhere else he can’t follow. Keep it up until he eventually gives up. He may then take it to the next level, which is when you make a complaint to your manager about harassment.
By law, harassment can be defined as words, conduct or actions that are frequent and directed at a specific person resulting in that person becoming annoyed, alarmed, or experiencing substantial emotional distress. And if you feel uncomfortable taking this action, then think of the next girl in your position once you have left, which is what you will do if you don’t stop him now.