Dear Wendyl, I read with interest a letter you had from a woman who was experiencing sexual harassment in her workplace. I had a similar experience but much creepier – almost like being stalked. Your advice was to take action to stop him so the next person didn’t get the same treatment. But what advice do you give to someone when you’ve done all that can be done, yet you still have to work with them and you’ve struggled to accept that they have really changed their behaviour? I don’t have much to do with him now but he crept up on me the other week and I didn’t hear him enter my office. Maybe I’m overreacting but moving on can be very hard for the person who is preyed upon. Sick & Tired, address supplied
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Dear Sick & Tired, I presume if you have done all you can do, then this person knows you have boundaries he must respect. But to be fair, he still needs to be able to work with you whether you hear him enter your office or not. I think you are just finding it hard to move on and you are still scared of him, which means you need to do some more work. I know it’s unfair. Why should the victim always need to do the work? But I presume you like your job and that is why you are still there. So for the sake of your job, get back in touch with your human-resources person and request some follow-up counselling. If they won’t supply it, then get some yourself because you just have to retrain your responses to this person and remember that the best revenge is living well. The sooner you show him that you are not freaked out every time he comes into your office, the better. And well done for coping so well.Wendyl
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