Dear Wendyl, I just had my fourth child at the age of 42 and I fully expected people to ask me if I was his grandmother when we went out. That hasn’t happened, but I am getting a lot of people asking me if he was a “mistake” and making that joke about not knowing how babies are made at my age. I know I should just ignore them but I find it really insulting that just because of my age, people assume I didn’t intend to have my son, who was planned and is much loved by us all. How do I get this across to people? Sarah, Tauranga
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Dear Sarah,As a 46-year-old grandmother, I had the opposite concern that people would think I was Lila’s mother when I went out with her, which just goes to show the silly things we worry about because, actually, I’d be chuffed if someone thought I was her mum, she’s so beautiful (as is her mum). What you need to do is have a line you can deliver when the subject comes up which goes something like: “Isn’t he gorgeous. I always wanted four children and now I’ve got them!” It’s pretty hard to come back at such an enthusiastic response.Wendyl
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