A parenting blogger has shared a hilarious post on why sometimes, rosé wine is a ‘healthier’ choice than her usual green tea.
Gill Sims, who runs blog Peter and Jane, is used to sharing anecdotes about motherhood.
But in this particular post, Gill revealed an experience that many mothers will emptahise with.
After a morning spent at the doctors because of her child complaining about a handstand injury, Gill was turned away because there was nothing wrong with the kid, as she’d suspected all along.
“The doctor agreed with Mummy, which was only a small plus point because Mummy still looked like a neurotic twat anyway for taking her perfectly healthy and uninjured child to the doctor.”
When they arrived home, Gill got on with the usual housework tasks – changing the beds, washing up, putting away the laundry, and heading off to do some grocery shopping.
She then temporarily lost her child, who was discovered playing in the neighbour’s garden, “having bot bothered to tell Mummy he was going, and due to the presence of wholesome witnesses, Mummy gave him a gentle lecture about how Mummy had been very worried because she loves him very much…instead of howling ‘Where the f^*% have you been, you little bastard, don’t you dare ever do that again!’”
Gill then takes her kids to a village BBQ, and when they return home they want a second dinner.
But if this doesn’t sound familiar enough, when Gill’s husband gets home, she has to cook an entirely new meal because he and the kids can’t decide on what they want.
After sorting the recycling and coming inside to relax, dad then says something which will irk many stay-at-home mums.
“Has mummy has a nice, relaxing day sitting in the sunshine?”
But rather than let all hell break lose on her husband, Gilly takes the safe option – she opens the bottle of rosé she bought earlier.
“Mummy is actually drinking wine as a safety precaution, because at least if she is pissed and Daddy tries to make any more ‘witty’ remarks, she will probably miss when she tries to stab him, and so Mummy won’t end up in a SadFace article in the Daily Mail.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why sometimes rosé is healthier than green tea.