
So, wow. I’m actually a mother now. How did that happen? It’s okay, I know how, no need to send in pictures. But even 18 months on I sometimes have to stop myself and think about it. I catch myself in “happy” moments when Leo is screaming and pushing food into my hair or I’m waking up at 4am again to comfort his teething pain, and I wonder: is motherhood what I thought it would be?
It’s an interesting thought, isn’t it? How can any of us new mums know what is in store until we’ve experienced it first-hand?
I wonder what advice my grandma would have given me if she’d been around to see me become a mum. She probably would have told me to put cold cabbage leaves on my boobs if they got sore when my milk came in. She might have even suggested getting hammered on stout to help produce more milk. They had some pretty nutty ideas back then.
Plunket founder Truby King wrote a book in 1913 called Feeding and Care of Baby. In it he outlines a strict regimen based around regularity of feeding, sleeping and pooping. It was meant to build character you see. Poor little bubbies being forced to poop on demand and their poor mummies feeling inadequate if they couldn’t make that happen. At least the babies got lots of cuddles. Oh no, that wasn’t allowed either. Tough crowd.
Back then, motherhood was all about being practical, not emotional.
That would go down like a cold cup of meconium for mothers today. We are all about touch and love and feelings, which I think is wonderful. I would have lost the plot if I had to obey a book that said I couldn’t cuddle Leo. I exist to cuddle that little man. It’s my life’s work!
So, is motherhood what I thought it would be? Well, I see the world differently now – I wasn’t expecting that. Leo has his mind blown daily by lights, textures, wind and bubbles and now, so do I. The best part of my day is laughing with Leo at the sight of a cat. Hilarious.
Looking back at the advice Truby gave about raising babies, I’m pretty sure fun wasn’t part of the equation. There is no chapter on having fun and enjoying your baby or going with the flow. I must say, while parenting trends come and go with a regularity that would please him, I’m glad to be experiencing motherhood for the first time now.
We do things now in a way that I like. I can dabble with routine if it works for me, kiss and cuddle my newborn all day and all night if I want and – unheard of in Grandma’s day – have my husband help out lots and lots and lots… which I still take advantage of now. Speaking of which it’s 3pm, where is my sandwich?
Jaquie Brown