**Dear Diane,
**How do you know if a child is “gifted” – and if they are, what should you do? I think my four-year-old is much brighter than the other kids at kindy. He can do little maths problems, he writes his name really well and can have a very intelligent conversation. When I told my friend she made fun of me, and said I just wanted him to be gifted so he would be different.
She said children develop differently and that he’s not slow, but he doesn’t stand out. She got really mean and said that if he was really gifted, he’d be playing the violin in an orchestra by now or going to university. Now I just feel stupid. Deep down I still think he’s gifted, but am I best to leave the issue alone for now?
Jake’s Mum, by email
Dear Jake’s mum,
You certainly picked the wrong friend to discuss the issue with! Tallpoppy syndrome makes it very difficult for a parent to acknowledge their child may be extra talented in some areas. Your child sounds like a bright little button who is full of the joys of discovery, learning and mastery. That is just the way he should be and I suggest you keep giving him opportunities to explore and grow. He seems to do particularly well in the areas of maths, reading and conversation and you are entitled to be proud of him.
The term “giftedness” tends to be used where a child has an extraordinary talent in one or more areas, out of all proportion to his chronological age. It is often associated with being so far ahead of his peers that there are some difficulties in learning alongside them. Provided your child enjoys his learning opportunities, there is nothing out of the ordinary worth doing at this age.
Foster his interests and introduce him to a range of other activities – physical, creative, intellectual, social and pure fun – and, most importantly, keep enjoying him just the way he is.
Diane Levy provides expert answers to your parenting queries. Send your questions to: [email protected]. Diane’s books are available in book shops.
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