Dear Wendyl, I’ve been living away from home in Wellington for about a year now and my parents call me most weeks to see how I am, which is fine. My problem is that my grandma calls me every day and, if I don’t pick up, she leaves long rambling messages, implying I’m a neglectful grandson. She has even got a cellphone so she can call me more often! I’ll be seeing her over the holidays so I might try to talk to her about it. Any pointers? Chris, email
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Dear Chris, I’m guessing you were the firstborn, because grandmas and their first grandchildren are hopelessly devoted beings. Avoiding her calls will just prolong the problem as it makes her feel rejected and I know you don’t want that. I think she’s lonely and you are the light of her life. Chatting to you is something she plans her whole day around, which isn’t a bad thing. My advice is to talk to her about how busy you are in your day, then suggest that you call each other once a week on a specific day at a specific time. Think of it as volunteer work and, when you’re her age, you’ll be very proud of yourself.Wendyl
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