Photos: Maree Wilkinson
Talking to the camera in her kitchen, social media star Paris Nuku shares what she’s cooking for dinner – often the Māori kai she grew up on – and what life is like living with four generations on the whānau farm. She’s soft-spoken, warm and relatable as her toddler wanders in and out of the frame or the video loses focus – and hundreds of thousands of followers online love it.
But opening up her kitchen to the world has also helped heal the Tauranga mum after the stressful birth of her now three-year-old daughter Rangimarie Leef.
“I didn’t know what I was experiencing at the time, so I went to my GP, who diagnosed me with ‘baby blues’,” tells Paris.
The intermittent bouts of depression the young mum experienced would come in waves for the next two years. Surprisingly, Paris found comfort in sharing elements of her life on TikTok.
“It was something I could do for myself to get the creativity flowing again to help me as I was coming out of that low mind state,” explains Paris, 24.
“The birth was traumatic. I had a placenta abruption and needed an emergency Caesarean. However, we live 40 minutes from the closest hospital, so the drive was a nightmare.”
Placenta abruption is when the placenta separates from the inner wall of the uterus before birth. It can deprive the baby of oxygen and nutrients, and cause heavy bleeding to the mother.
Post-birth, Paris recovered at home with the support of her fiancé Harding Leef, 26, her grandparents, parents, siblings and aunty, who live together in multiple houses on a shared piece of land in the Kaimai Ranges.
But around eight weeks after becoming a mum, Paris knew something wasn’t quite right.
“Every time baby would latch on and breastfeed, I would have all sorts of intrusive thoughts. For example, I might’ve thought about my family going for a drive and something awful happening to them,” she recalls.
There was no one thing that aided her recovery. Paris says it was the combination of friends, family and the online world that have helped in her journey.
“Harding took quite a bit of time off work to awhi [support] me and it got easier as Rangimarie hit milestones like crawling. But introducing TikTok was also a big part of me overcoming postpartum depression.”
It was late 2022, as her daughter approached her second birthday when Paris started sharing her life online – a decision that surprised some who know her best.
“I’m quite introverted and shy,” she tells. “My aunty said, ‘Wow, bubba, I’ve never heard you speak so much,’ so it was a big change. I had a bit of imposter syndrome at the start. I was scared of what people would think.”
But the positive reactions inspired her to keep going.
“It was validating for me, especially when people would comment on my kai or dinner videos. It’s such an everyday chore but people thinking it looked delicious really picked me up at a time when I was feeling low.
“I remember jumping around the lounge when I first saw I had 1000 followers. When I got to 10,000, it felt insane!”
Now Paris’ TikTok account has 246,000 followers and 8.2 million likes on her videos. Alongside a host of talented Māori kai creators, she’s also been responsible for a resurgence of popularity for traditional fare.
“Growing up in te ao Māori [the Māori world], our kai – boil up, hāngī, lambs’ tails – was normal to us. But once I started putting it out into the world, I noticed how intrigued people were. I love that putting our Māoritanga out online, it reaches so far and wide. To know our kai is being enjoyed by more of us is amazing.”
Most recently, Paris partnered with Woolworths to create a menu of spring feast recipes. It has been a pinch-me moment to be working with such a big brand – and it’s commonplace for people to recognise her when out and about.
“I was shocked and I’m sure my cheeks went all red with the first couple of people who came up to me,” she admits. “But it definitely makes it feel more real and it’s nice to connect with people who follow me.”
Paris never intended to find fame on the internet. She also has no idea where this will take her in the future. But no matter how many followers she has, whānau will always be her priority.
“I want my daughter to be proud of who she is culturally and know she can come to me with any of her raru [problems],” says Paris. The star wishes she’d shared her postpartum mental health struggles with her own mother sooner.
“I felt crazy and didn’t want everyone else to think I was crazy too,” she shares. “I’m so proud that I got through it, but I wish I had spoken out earlier because I know my family would have wrapped their arms around me and helped.
“I just want my own daughter to be confident and courageous, and know we love her to smithereens.”
Help is here
Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.
Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP).
Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email [email protected]
Samaritans – 0800 726 666
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