Photography: Aimee Kelly.
Whenever Phoenix Fraser gets to her feet after making a tackle on the rugby field, she immediately has the voice of her late dad ringing in her head.
She laughs, “When I get up, I can still hear him saying, ‘Stop walking!’ He had a very distinctive voice. I really miss having him around. You don’t realise how much of an impact one person can have on your life until they’re not here.”
Phoenix’s dad Dan died suddenly of a heart attack while surfing in 2023, aged 48. He was the young Taranaki rugby player’s number-one fan and critic.
“Rugby was something we bonded over,” says Phoenix, who is starring in the documentary film No Tears On The Field, which follows a season of women’s club rugby in Taranaki. “He was always there for me.”
Even without her dad on the sidelines, the 18-year-old is making huge strides in sport, something Dan would be proud of. She played in the Farah Palmer Cup last season for the Taranaki Whio women’s rugby team and has plans to move to Australia to make a name for herself in another code – league.
Phoenix is grateful to her dad for setting her up to be a fierce competitor, no matter what sport she’s playing.
A coach in every word
“He would help with my teams and after trainings he’d tell me what I needed to do,” says Phoenix.
“He always had a lot to say – he was like my personal coach. He’d yell at me to stop walking or tackle harder and not to be scared. I’d tell him to shush, but really it was a blessing in disguise.”
Phoenix’s mother Nikyla is there to cheer her on.
“Now I have Mum as my number-one supporter,” she tells.
“Our relationship has definitely got stronger since Dad passed. I rely on her to get me through the bad days and I help her on her tough days too.”
Convincing mum and embracing the game
At the start of her career, though, Phoenix had to convince Nikyla she could handle playing contact sport. An unenthusiastic gymnast as a kid, she begged her mum – unsuccessfully – to let her play rugby like her best friend Charley Lahmert, whom she’s still besties with.
“The next season, I tagged along with Dad and my brother to the rugby muster, took my opportunity and got Dad to put my name down. When we got home, Mum was like, ‘That’s my little girl’. But she definitely came round to it. She enjoys watching me play now. “I just love the physicality of the game – the roughness and toughness. I also love running with the ball and having to think about what I’m going to do next.”
A sporting legacy
Her father played club rugby through the grades, reaching the premier team for the family’s club, Tukapa.
“He could have gone far, but he didn’t like training,” Phoenix recalls.
“He just wanted to play.”
Surf, skate and rugby
Running the family’s concrete-grinding business, Dan also lived and breathed surfing – another sporting passion he passed on to his three children.
“At three years old, we were all standing up on surfboards,” says Phoenix, who’s also adept at skateboarding.
“We grew up by the coast in Fitzroy and if we weren’t at the rugby field, we were at the beach surfing.”
Honouring a legacy
After Dan died, hundreds of local surfers formed a circle in the ocean in a special paddle-out to honour his memory.
Phoenix shares, “It’s a pretty close community and you could see what an impact he had on other people. I like to go out to the beach now and just sit there – it’s calming and I feel more connected to him.”
Finding her own path
Still living at home, Phoenix is working at the Anytime Fitness gym while she does a personal trainer course. She’d like to work in athlete development in the future and she’s already giving back as a trainer to the Kotiro League Academy, showing girls a pathway in rugby league.
Doors have opened for her to play league in Australia. In 2024, she and Charley trialled for the Newcastle Knights club, and were invited to stay and play. Charley remained and has shone in the club’s under-19 side, but Phoenix returned home.
Choosing family first
“It wasn’t long after Dad had passed away and I didn’t think I was ready to leave my family to live in Australia,” she reflects.
While Phoenix had hoped to impress the Knights again late last year, a nasty ankle injury in her final rugby game sidelined her from any league tournaments. Now she’s back playing club rugby and rebuilding “to reach that high level again”.
She adds, “I’m still young – I’ve got time.”
Dreaming big
It’s her dream to play in the NRLW.
“Dad loved watching me play league as well, so I feel like he’d think it was awesome,” she says.
“Imagine getting paid to play the sport you love? That’s the end goal.”
No Tears On The Field is now screening at selected cinemas.
