Dear Wendyl,
My sister has a five-year-old daughter who I am worried about. I recently heard that she offered her daughter a small piece of venison for dinner and my niece refused to eat it. My sister sent her to bed without tea and for the next two to three days offered only that same piece of meat for meals – in effect, starving her.
My niece doesn’t really like meat, but eats lots of fruit and vegetables and is really on the lean side. My sister has also recently become a fanatic in some new religion, which has alarm bells ringing for me, as well as for other family members. I’m not sure whether to say anything about the food situation as I don’t want her pushing us away. It’s weighing heavily on my mind. What should I do?
Tina, by email
Dear Tina,
The thing that worries me most about your email is the words “I heard”. I’m not a great believer in taking things seriously which are just hearsay, so first of all I want you to get the facts. Ask your sister about the venison thing and see what she says. There are always two sides to a story and I think you owe her the courtesy of hearing hers.
Regarding the new religion, I’m not sure this has a lot to do with making her child eat meat, so let’s separate the two issues out. The issues you have brought up tell me that you are worried about your sister and your niece. So set up a line of communication with your sister where you visit her often and talk about things. By being in touch you will feel safer about her situation. And offer to have your niece over to stay frequently so that you can also start be in communication with her and keep an eye on her. But don’t listen to idle gossip and try not to judge. Just be there for your sister and support her.
Send your questions to [email protected] or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142.