Relationships

When you’re not in the mood, but your husband is

Dear Wendyl, I am a working mum with two kids and a very nice husband who does his fair share of the housework. My problem is that he has boundless energy and I don’t.

Dear Wendyl,

I am a working mum with two kids and a very nice husband who does his fair share of the housework. My problem is that he has boundless energy and I don’t. He can put in a nine-hour day, go to the gym and still be ready for sex as soon as we go to bed. My eyes close as soon as my head hits the pillow. We’re not having much sex and he is getting a bit grumpy about it. How can I make him happy but get some sleep as well?

Tired Mum, Upper Hutt

Dear Tired Mum,

I’m not sure that looking at sex as a means to “make him happy” is the right way to approach this. Sex should be an enjoyable, fun way to spend time together, not something to be added to a list of jobs. I think you need to plan some time out for both of you. He might be coping, but you clearly need more rest. Explain that to him – once he realises that more rest means a revived interest in the bedroom, I’m sure he’ll be supportive.

Start by allotting yourself three early nights a week and leave your energetic husband to do anything that needs doing. Then book a date night each week just for the two of you and a weekend away every few months. I think you’ll soon find that sex with your lovely husband is something you look forward to.

Send your questions to [email protected] or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142.

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