When your boyfriend pretends to be single

Dear Wendyl, I had been with my boyfriend for six years and then we broke up because we are of different religions...

**Dear Wendyl,

**I had been with my boyfriend for six years and then we broke up because we are of different religions and his parents did not approve (neither did mine). However, after the break-up, he continued to text, call and meet me as we work near each other. We both have a status as “single” but do everything together, even share the bed. I am confused, because the other day we were together and he introduced me as his girlfriend. I do not know what is going on, but every time I try to sort it out he gets angry. He keeps teasing me about it and this frustrates me even more. Please can you help me throw some light on this difficult situation.

*Lost and Confused, by email


**Dear Lost and Confused,

**If your reference to “sharing the bed” means that you are having sex with this man, then I’m sorry to have to tell you, but you are being used. Either way, sex or no sex, this relationship is doing nothing for you unless it is out in the open and real. I realise that it may be important for both of you to honour your parents’ wishes regarding religion, but you shouldn’t be living a life of relationship denial because of it. Once that is sorted, you need to take charge.

Draw a line in the sand for this guy. Either he is your boyfriend or he isn’t. He can’t have just bits and pieces of a relationship without committing to it fully. So, be prepared for him to get very angry, but tell him that you are not interested in seeing him any more, unless it’s a proper relationship, not some half-hearted attempt at one.

Send your questions to [email protected] or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142.

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