Partner problems

Dear Wendyl, A year ago my daughter returned from her OE with a boyfriend she met in the UK. Apparently, hecouldn’t bear to be apart from her, so came to New Zealand. It was quite easy for him to do as he was unemployed at the time and is also in the same situation here – in fact, he spends most days on our couch, watching sport while she is at work. We’ve tried to help him find a job, but I really don’t think he is interested and is just bludging off our daughter.

She can’t see this and is working overtime and long hours to save enough money for them to find a flat. How do I get her to see that she has brought home a loser?

Worried Mum, via email

Dear Worried Mum, He may be a loser, but he’s her loser. You really need to let your daughter learn from her own mistakes so don’t interfere with the relationship – let it pan out. But, you do have a right not to have to watch that car crash happening in your own lounge so perhaps you can lend your daughter the extra cash she needs to get that flat – and that guy out of your home. You will find the situation easier to deal with and just make sure you are there when, and if, she needs some support to dump him, but let it be her decision.