**Dear Wendyl,
**I recently met a man at a party who I really like. We are both in our forties and he’s been single for two years, while I’ve been alone for a lot longer. My problem is that he’s a smoker, which I really don’t like, but I figured everything else was okay so I’d just get used to it – which I have. He smokes outside and is usually very considerate – except after sex. The minute it’s over, he rolls over and lights a fag, like they used to do in the movies. I haven’t said anything as I figure that it’s his thing, but how revolting is that! He definitely doesn’t get second helpings, I can tell you. Any advice?
*Grossed Out, by email
*
**Dear Grossed Out,
**Why haven’t you said anything? Is it because it’s in that “special” moment? I think it’s great that you are not expecting your man to be perfect and tick all the boxes – and I wish more women would do that when looking for partners – but bed and sex are no-go areas. There are two of you in there and you have a right to ask him not to ruin it for you. Explain to him that you realise he’s been playing this movie role for many years, but you love that special time and perhaps he could keep the cigarettes out of your sex life. If he values your relationship, he’ll make the effort.
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