Wellington comedian and teacher Maria Williams is frank when she describes her experience on The Traitors NZ.
“I absolutely hated it,” she tells Woman’s Day.
“It was so hard. It broke my brain! I’ve never been so stressed and I don’t think I’ll ever be as stressed again.”
Pulled into the show at the last minute, off the back of a big European trip and a nasty lung infection, Maria – the sister of fellow comics Guy and Paul Williams – headed into the Traitors castle completely unprepared for the psychological challenges.
In hindsight, her ADHD and neurodivergence perhaps didn’t set her up for success.
“What did I think was going to happen!?” she asks incredulously.
But despite her struggles, Maria, 36, is glad she took part as she learnt some incredibly valuable lessons.
“I knew that the way I was living life was chaos,” she confesses.
“I have a lot of emotional ups and downs. It was being on Traitors where I realised I needed help to evaluate how I was living because I actually need stability. “I’ve struggled with depression for a long time and the experience made me think, ‘This is something I should try better at getting on top of.’ It also made me think I should be on medication for ADHD. It made me realise I’d like my life to be different. “I actually found out on the show that I’ve got autism as well. I self-diagnosed during the experience because I was struggling so much. The total loss of control I felt was really, really hard.”
How a mega‑fan became a standout player
While Maria has come across as something of a savant on screen – she’s the only one so far to clock all three Traitors, including clever Keanu Feleti – she’s surprised producers had so much footage of her not in tears.
“I’m hyper-vigilant,” she explains.
“I knew Keanu was a Traitor from the beginning – he was perfect! But honestly, I never thought that my story arc was that I was good at the game. I thought I’d be the weird, neurodivergent one
that people would find intense and that I’d cry a lot.”
Brother Guy was surprised when Maria told him she’d taken part in The Traitors.
She recalls, “I knew he’d say it wasn’t a good idea and he’d try to talk me out of it, so I only told him afterwards. He was like, ‘So you were sick, burnt out and you’re jetlagged, and you decided to go on a reality TV show… What could go wrong?!’ “But I knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and it was a dream to be on The Traitors as I’m a mega-fan.”
The silent battle behind the savvy gameplay
What viewers didn’t see was the private battle Maria fought to stay regulated.
She tells, “It’s ironic because it’s a game about survival, but I truly was just trying to get through the day. I struggled. For most of the game, I was trying to have chill conversations with people, but I was on the verge of a breakdown.”
The snapping point for Maria came when she returned to her accommodation aftera day in the castle, only to find she’d been moved to a different room. One of her triggers is running water and she could hear it in the walls, which sent her over the edge.
“I had a huge meltdown,” she admits tearfully.
“It sounds silly, but I was in absolute overwhelm. It was the last straw.”
Maria says even though it was a tough time for her, she’s keen to chat about her struggles, explaining that the more conversation around mental health, the better.
“I don’t want to look like a victim or anything – I’m not,” she says firmly.
“But I’m quite happy to talk openly about it.”
Doing the hard things anyway
And she points out, there were times of triumph during filming too, like when she won a shield in a physical challenge that saw her run up and down a super-steep hill.
“I used to have chronic fatigue, so I was genuinely shocked and proud of myself in that moment because I could go home having achieved something.”
Re-watching the challenge, Maria says it was her dad Gary’s legacy that helped her. He passed away just after she finished filming the show last year.
“I was born with sporty genes and it was Dad’s genes that got me up that hill!” she smiles.
“Honestly, it was my aim going into the show to get past episode four and run up a hill. Tick, tick! With a bit of time and distance, Maria says she’s grown a lot as a person since filming the show. “What I know now about myself is that if there’s a hard thing to do, I’m going to cry the whole time, but I’ll still do it. Of course, when I look back, there are things I wish I did differently, but at least I did it!”
The Traitors NZ screens 7.30pm Sundays and Mondays on Three, streaming on ThreeNow.
If you’re struggling with your mental health, call or text 1737 at any time for free support.
