Traitors NZ superfan Dr Debbie Ryder always imagined what she’d be like in the game of deception. But at 64 years old, she convinced herself her moment had passed.
That was until her son Harrison, 36, decided to apply. Inspired by previous international competitors who entered with a loved one while keeping their connection a secret, she took the leap.
Looking back now, the early childhood education lecturer can’t believe she was going to let something as trivial as age keep her from having one of the greatest adventures of her life.
“I wouldn’t have done this if it weren’t for Harri,” she admits. “But in hindsight, I think, ‘Why was that the case?’ I had such an amazing experience and had the ability to do what I was doing.”
An unexpected advantage
If anything, being the oldest contestant by nearly a decade became her unexpected advantage.
“Being this much older than the other contestants brought such a sense of empowerment,” she recalls. “You come away from doing something like this at my age and you think, ‘I could do anything.’”
When mother and son speak to the Weekly – Debbie from her home in Wellington and Harrison from his in Sweden – they haven’t seen any of the episodes yet. But Harrison takes the opportunity to get ahead of some of the more devious tactics he used to throw people off their scent.
“I was talking about you behind your back,” Harrison confesses. “I wanted to make people think, ‘Do they have a bit of beef? Is that why they’re not talking?’”
But that was just the first step in his elaborate ruse.
He explains, “I wore contacts the whole time and I changed my posture, because I didn’t want to look like her. I literally studied how she sat and then sat the opposite way.”
Debbie laughs, clearly more impressed than offended. Before they entered the game, which sees Faithfuls trying to sniff out the Traitors among them, both agreed they would do whatever the show required of them.
“Harri and I get on so well and know each other so well, we’re not risking our relationship,” shares Debbie. “We can switch off and it doesn’t mean anything.”
Harrison adds, “We could have been at each other’s throats and it wouldn’t have mattered, and I don’t think I can say that about the rest of my family! We’ve been through a lot together and this is just another thing to add to that crazy list.”
Avoiding each other
To avoid exposing themselves, they rarely spoke during filming. Yet both agree that simply seeing each other across the room helped them deal with the stressful moments.
“You have this support system, even though you’re not talking to them that much,” explains Harrison, an HR manager. “It was really good for both of us.”
Harrison’s other quiet support was his husband Brad, who was visiting family near Timaru’s Castle Claremont, where filming took place. Even though they couldn’t communicate, knowing Brad was nearby grounded him.
“It’s a big deal to be on the other side of the world for an extended period, and it was nice to be near him,” Harrison confides.
This is a special time for the couple, who have been together for 18 years, as they are in the process of creating embryos to eventually start a family. While surrogacy is illegal in Sweden, it does not prohibit hopeful parents from pursuing it overseas, so Harrison and Brad are working with an agency to facilitate the journey.
Though he’s excited to be a father, Harrison admits it’s not easy having such a significant chapter play out from afar.
“We’ve been there and we’ve met everyone, which is awesome, but you are just waiting for an email,” he tells of the surrogacy process.
“It’s very businessy. Not experiencing it in the flesh is a bit of a disappointment.”
While they are happy in Sweden for now, Harrison says they’d love to be closer to family once they become parents.
Which is music to Debbie’s ears. With her two older daughters living nearby in Wellington, the grandmother of three is thrilled at the prospect of not only having her beloved youngest back in the same hemisphere, but also another baby in the brood.
“He’d have to come to Wellington,” Debbie insists. “I get on really well with Brad, I love him, and with a baby, it would be great.”
Watch The Traitors NZ Sundays and Mondays at 7.30pm on Three and streaming on ThreeNow.
