Photography: Emily Chalk.
When it comes to sharing people’s personal stories on air, Auckland broadcaster Sonia Gray admits she often loses sleep over the “huge sense of responsibility”.
She explains, “I’ve been on the other side. I’ve been interviewed so much and I know how it feels. Often people will say things they probably would’ve preferred not to, but I just want them to be really happy when they tune in – that’s my number one.”
This care matters because people openly share their lives on Sonia’s award-winning podcast No Such Thing As Normal and her hit show My Family Mystery. Hard-hitting topics covered on the podcast’s new second season include obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), medication, hormones, education, and the intersection between gender identity and neurodiversity.
She’s proud that many of her guests are people with lived experiences.
“We talk a lot about people with neurodiversity, but not to them, so I try to have kids and people that are living it.”
One recent guest really touched Sonia, who shares, “She was doing this radical OCD treatment and I’ve never cried so much producing an episode. My daughter has had quite severe OCD, so it really helped me understand many of her challenges are actually strengths – they’re just operating in the wrong environment.
Stories that bring viewers to tears
“There’s all this evidence that if you’ve got OCD, you’re quite brilliant. You’re too good at sticking to things and if you can channel all those strengths into something else, you’ll fly.”
Meanwhile, the stories that surfaced during filming of the third series of My Family Mystery include a woman’s emotional search to honour the memory of her late mum.
“She brought me a little pair of boots from the orphanage that her mother had worn as a starting point. Her mother was an orphan who was given to a porter at Victoria Station in London when she was about three months old in 1924. Her name became Victoria Porter. I challenge anyone to watch that episode without crying.”
Sonia says the courage and vulnerability people reveal during the show is inspiring.
“They’re often coming on TV to talk about something personal in their family and we work really hard to give them the answer, honouring the courage and faith they have in us. It’s the same with the podcast.”
Reflecting on her career, Sonia feels it’s her most meaningful era, even though “it’s brought me to my knees”.
She tells, “This is the kind of stuff I want to be doing as it makes a difference.”
Understanding sensory overload and safety signals
A recent podcast episode about sensory overload also helped her too.
“The expert I used broke it down simply – it all boils down to a sense of safety,” she explains.
“So whenever there’s challenging behaviour, that person is sending you a message that they don’t feel safe. If you keep that in mind, it does make life a lot easier as you’re not constantly trying to work out what the trigger is.”
With her twin daughters Thandie and Inez, 17, in a really happy place, Sonia’s looking forward to taking some time out and perhaps writing a book about neurodiversity, her own ADHD diagnosis and what her girls have taught her.
“There are lots of people out there who need information and don’t want to feel alone.”
Sonia challenges the common belief that neurodivergent people need fixing.
“There’s an evolutionary reason we’re all different and that’s how we solve the world’s problems. Once we can really harness that idea and see that different brains are valuable, I don’t think they’ll be called disorders any more. If we can broaden our idea of normal, it would make all the difference.”
Listen to No Such Thing As Normal on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. My Family Mystery screens 8.30pm Sundays on TVNZ 1 and streams on TVNZ+.
