Robert Trathen
For some women, being part of the “sandwich generation” – where you have a hectic life of your own, and both your children and your parents depend on you – can be tough.
With teenage kids, a mum about to turn 80 and a busy workload that includes emceeing events, as well as being a fill-in newsreader on TVNZ, Wendy Petrie could easily be part of that demographic. But she counts herself very fortunate that her family are all very independent.
“I know it’s difficult for some people, but I feel very lucky – my kids are all very capable of doing their own thing, especially my girls, and my mum is still really active. In fact, she’s still doing so much to help me.”
Just the week before Wendy, 52, spoke to the Weekly, her mum Carole Petrie had stepped in to get grandson Zach, 13, to a water polo game when neither Wendy nor her husband Ross Peebles could make it because of work.
Nana Carole has been stepping up for Wendy’s family (and her son Brent’s) for nearly two decades and is only too happy to help out where she can. But she’s not needed for chauffeuring duties quite so much these days – not only because Wendy’s girls Addison (known as Addie) and Olivia (Liv) both have their driving licences, but because Addie now lives in the United States and Liv will be joining her there next year.
When life gets chaotic, Wendy sends out an SOS call to mum Carole.
Both are talented athletes who have won scholarships to universities in San Diego. Addie, 19, has been at the University of San Diego for 18 months on a rowing scholarship, while Liv, 17, has just been offered a place at San Diego State University on a swimming scholarship.
“We’ve somehow managed to work it so that they are in the same city, which I am very pleased about,” says Wendy. “I will have to invent lots of reasons for going up there.
“I always joke – and I’m only half joking – that I should enrol in a university there to do my postgraduate degree. You should see the looks on their faces when I suggest that!”
Addie, who has recently been home in Auckland for the US summer holidays, is looking forward to her sister arriving, but they won’t be living together – as a first-year student, Liv will live in a dorm on campus, while Addie is about to move into an apartment on famous Mission Beach.
She’s loving living in “such a cool city” but there’s not a lot of time to hang out at the beach. Her degree in economics is very demanding, and on top of that, she spends a huge chunk of her time at rowing practice, in the gym and competing in regattas.
Precious time together: Home for the holidays, daughter Addie (far right) will soon have sister Liv living with her in the US.
“It was a bit of a struggle to balance it to start with, but I’ve got the hang of it now,” tells Addie. “Everyone on my team is going through the same thing, so I can talk to them about it. Plus, the university has so many resources, like tutors, to help.”
“She’s doing so well,” says Addie’s proud nana Carole. “She got on the dean’s list.”
Addie misses home but she’s so busy, she doesn’t get time to feel too homesick. “There are occasions when it would be nice to have Mum here, but we’re very good at keeping in touch.”
They Snapchat daily, with Addie showing her mum snippets of her life in San Diego. “It’s ironic that I speak to her more when she’s overseas,” says Wendy.
She didn’t anticipate just how much Addie’s absence would affect the family.
“You don’t realise how much the family dynamic shifts when one of your children is gone,” she muses. “When Addie first went, I found it really hard to go past her bedroom and look in, because that was where she spent most of her life and she wasn’t there any more. She was off living a completely separate life that I’m not part of and that was difficult.
“But you can’t be sad when they are so happy and achieving so much. You have to let them live their lives.”
The house will be even emptier when Liv, who earlier this year represented New Zealand in two big swim meets in California, heads to San Diego next August.
“It’s going to be a shock when it’s just me, Ross and Zach,” reflects Wendy. “I don’t think Zach’s looking forward to it. It’ll be, ‘Right, all my attention is on you now – you’re my next project!'”
Zach is in his first year of high school and a keen water polo player, but also very creative and into the arts.
“It’s probably a bit daunting to be the little brother when you’ve got two older sisters who are athletes going overseas on scholarships,” she explains. “He’s already saying, ‘What’s my scholarship going to be?’ We’ll see what happens.”
Having both her girls overseas will not only leave a hole in Wendy’s life, but also in her mum’s. Carole – a registered nurse who became a teacher aide when her children were small so she could work school hours – has always been a hands-on grandmother, including looking after Addie after she was born so Wendy could go back to work.
Carole’s helped to pick up the slack when Wendy and Ross’ demanding jobs (he has his own video production company, The Workroom) meant getting all the kids to their different activities was a logistical nightmare, but also enjoys going along because she loves watching her grandkids in action.
Beach girls! A sweet catch-up in San Diego.
“Nana was always involved in everything,” recalls Addie.
Adds Wendy, “When Addie started rowing, Nana would be at Lake Karapiro with her chair, programme and her binoculars, and everyone got to know her. Everyone would go, ‘Hi Nana Carole!'”
“If she wasn’t there, my friends would be like, ‘Where’s Nana Carole?'” says Addie. “Even when she came to San Diego, my friends there were like, ‘Nana! We’ve heard all about you.'”
Carole travelled with Wendy and Liv to the US earlier this year to check out universities, and catch up with Addie. And she recently enjoyed a holiday in Bali with Wendy and her family, and son Brent Petrie, his wife Sophie and their children Fletcher, 15, and Chloe 13.
Family holiday in Bali with son Zach and husband Ross.
Carole believes it’s important to share experiences and create happy memories, and for quite a few years now her Christmas present to her family has been a joint holiday. The Bali break was her gift for Christmas 2019, but because of Covid, they couldn’t go until this year.
Wendy says, “When we were there, I realised we’d delayed it so much that it was nearly Nana’s 80th birthday – well, it’s actually in November, but close enough – so we surprised her with a cake and a celebration on the last night.”
Wendy says her mum is in great shape for 79 and still incredibly active, including being the treasurer for the Counties Manukau gymnastics club, and dad Warren is active in his eighties living in Hawke’s Bay.
“She’s amazing and she’s always there to support us,” Wendy enthuses. “I still ring her and say, ‘Would you be able to come over and fold some washing for us, please?’ She’s a clothes-folding machine.”
Laughs Carole, “They do so much washing in this house, it’s unbelievable.”
“We all do activities that make us sweat a lot!” adds Wendy, a keen runner who has run marathons.
Cheering Liv on at a swim meet.
She notes her mother is an inspiration because she is so “even-keeled and calm at all times. Nothing fazes her and she’s got a great mindset, no matter what challenges she faces. She always seems to find a positive.”
Wendy is also inspired by her daughters and the hard work they put into their sporting pursuits.
“They push themselves to be the best they can. On my runs, when it’s getting hard, I’ll think of them and that inspires me to keep going.”
The Petrie/Peebles women are all prepared to put in long hours to achieve their goals. “I think we’re all pretty dedicated,” says Addie.
“And focused,” adds Wendy.
Adaptable to change is another common trait. After Wendy lost her full-time newsreading role at TVNZ after Covid, she was worried about her future. But now she’s busier than ever, emceeing events around the country, giving keynote speeches, interviewing elite athletes for her podcast The Word with Wendy Petrie and doing media training for Ross’ company. And she’s still filling in at TVNZ when needed.
“I adopted the saying, ‘Change didn’t happen to me, it happened for me,'” she says. “It’s a different mindset and reminds you that you can turn a challenge into an opportunity.”
It’s a saying she hopes her kids will remember when life throws curveballs at them. In the meantime, she’s excited about what the future holds for Addie and Liv.
They, in return, are grateful they’ve been given these amazing chances.
“Me, Liv and Zach are so lucky that we’ve had parents who’ve done so much for us,” says Addie. “And Nana too, we’re so lucky to have her. There’s been a lot of time and sacrifice involved, and we really appreciate it.”
