When you fly, the safety messages instruct you to put on your oxygen mask before helping others. Metaphorically, that’s what Lesley Vainikolo is doing now.
The former rugby league player was raised to help others and to put their needs before his own. In the past three years, that has meant supporting his wife Sienna during cancer treatment, juggling three jobs that saw him working almost round the clock, and looking after his teenage son and nephew.
But now it’s his time to seek support and get his health in check so he doesn’t die young, like his brother Kava, who was 37 when he had an aneurysm.
Lesley has returned to the reality TV series Match Fit, that aims to improve the physical and mental health of former sports stars. This year, it has a rugby union vs league theme, with both teams showing they still have a competitive streak.
It comes as a huge relief to Sienna that her school sweetheart and husband of almost 20 years is finally prioritising his health.
“Les has big heart and is always so generous. Always giving to everyone else,” says the 45-year as they sit around the family dining table in Te Kauwhata, north of Hamilton. “It’s nice that he put himself first because he’s not selfish at all.”
Lesley grew up playing rugby with coconut shells in Tonga and came to New Zealand in 1986. Ten years later, he was spotted playing league at high school and turned professional, playing 12 tests for the Kiwis.
He appeared on Match Fit season two last year, with his weight dropping from 145kg to 131kg. But the kilos have crept back on and the 44-year-old started season three at 144kg, with approximately 20kg of that being dangerous visceral fat, and a metabolic fitness of someone aged 59.
Match Fit trainer Alex Flint said Lesley’s fitness was a red flag and he needed to get it under control.
“Sometimes we need reminders to focus on ourselves. I know your love, care and time has been with others,” he told Lesley during the show.
Sienna feels somewhat responsible for his weight gain as she started cooking meals again. Lesley loves her cooking – particularly a roast, or steak, eggs and chips with mushroom sauce.
“We have two hungry teenage boys in the house, so a salad isn’t going to cut it,” she says. “We try to eat well. The issue’s probably portion sizes. Because we’re living rurally, we don’t have easy access to takeaways.”
Realising that something had to give – he was mentally exhausted, worried about Sienna and trying to balance the demands of work – finding time for himself was a challenge he didn’t have the energy to face. So Lesley dropped his role as dorm parent at Wesley College. However, he’s still director of rugby for the South Auckland school, renowned for its sporting alumni.
“He has work six days a week, and on weekends there’s rugby and after-school training,” says Sienna. “Plus, he takes the boys to basketball at night. He’s that person for everyone else and isn’t allowing time for himself.
“We’d try to get out for walks on the weekend, but I don’t think it was enough to keep up with what he had done with Match Fit.”
With Sienna now recovered from cancer, Lesley wants to be a good role model for their son Kava, 16, and their nephew Kolo, 18, who lives with them.
“Sienna’s cancer was the toughest thing we’ve been through,” admits Lesley. “I had to put her in front of everything. And Sienna was really strong going through the treatment.
“Now we live in the moment. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring and the past is yesterday,” he adds. “One of my favourite quotes is from Muhammed Ali – ‘Make the days count, not count the days.’ If I can concentrate more on me, that’s better for myself and everybody else.”
Lesley’s determined to keep up the good habits, and grateful for the support of his community, teammates, friends and family.
“I find it helpful to have others who are on the same journey to check in with, to encourage and motivate one another,” he says.
Match Fit streams on ThreeNow.
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