This is not the first time I have touched on the topic of getting a man to complete his chores, but it seems logical to revisit the theme, since it’s a problem that never actually goes away.
Much like the chores.It’s particularly timely for me, as Megan has just had a revelation relating to this very subject.
The discussion follows:
Her: “I have left the white rug bunched up outside the front door on the porch for some weeks. You have done nothing. I hoped you would notice and realise you need to clean the coffee stain you made on it, but you don’t seem to be picking up on my hint. You seem happy to leave it there. I now see that the only way to get you to clean the coffee stain off the white rug is to tell you repeatedly to clean the coffee stain off the white rug. That may constitute nagging, but you have brought that on yourself by being too stupid to recognise a subtle hint when it is sitting in an ugly bunch right at the front door.”
Me: “We’ve got a white rug?”
Men will not pick up on subtle clues about jobs that need doing. If you require him to change the light bulb in the garage, do not drive over his golf clubs. He won’t link the two. Simply tell him to change the bulb. Do not use extra words like “please”. Certainly don’t say “When you get a moment.”
This is a loophole to avoid doing whatever you just asked. Be direct. I should point out that this won’t work either.
Don’t try telling him via children. Megan has said to our daughter Charlie, “Once someone has cleaned the white rug, we can bring it inside.” I thought she was talking to Charlie. Not my area. Didn’t hear it.
If you make a list of jobs that need to be done, you must continually update the list. If a list gets lost or accidentally swept into the rubbish, men consider all jobs on that list to be completed.
So, how do you get a man to complete that small task?
Ponder this: Megan suggested I use the stained white rug for this week’s column.
She did this not just to help me, but also in the hope it would underline the fact the rug needs cleaning. I’ve written about the rug in a way that suggests I completely understand the task and her frustration.
That sentence right there leaves no doubt. Yet… a stained white rug remains bunched up outside the front door.
You can catch Jeremy on TV3 on Fridays, 9.30pm, as the always erudite host of 7 Days.