Pictures, hair & makeup: Selina Nunn.
When Woman’s Day caught up with White Ferns star Bernadine Bezuidenhout this time last year, the cricketer was triumphantly celebrating her return to international cricket following a period of ill health and a battle with an eating disorder.
But after finally getting back to the top of her sport, Bernie realised that, actually, she was no longer a person who wanted to be an elite athlete any more. Now, as she chats to us with a wide smile, Bernie, 31, reveals she’s happy, healthy, retired – and engaged!
“Honestly, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been,” she tells. “I have just such a healthy balance in my life at the moment. It really has been the most epic year and it feels like everything is falling into place.”
It’s certainly been a huge period of life changes for Bernie. She’s announced her retirement from top-level cricket, devoted herself to charity and became engaged, all in the space of just nine months.
With her partner’s support, as well as her wider circle of friends and family, Bernie came to the decision to hang up her black jersey for the very last time.
It was the end of a wild, wonderful and tumultuous chapter in the South African-born star’s life. One that featured the usual highs and lows of professional sport, as well as a battle with RED-S (relative energy deficiency in sport), a disorder where athletes train too much and eat too little.
It was only after a period away from cricket to recover, followed by her battle to reclaim her spot in the White Ferns, that Bernie realised her passions now lay elsewhere – specifically, her burgeoning charity, The Epic Sports Project. It aims to help kids in deprived communities thrive through sport and dance.
“I just realised that I was waking up without the motivation that I used to have,” she explains. “There was no balance in my life – I was training so much, working so much and struggling to cope. I was at burnout point. I just knew it was time.
“It got to the point where I knew. Sport had given me everything it needed to. I got lifelong friendships, to travel around the world, and the opportunity to experience the life of an elite athlete and represent New Zealand.
“Now it’s time to give back. It wasn’t a very difficult decision, if I’m totally honest.”
Bernie admits she became “caught up” in her identity as an international cricketer. But, now she’s enjoying finding out who she is without it. She’s swapped her intense training schedule for a steadier routine and says that she’s “about 85 to 90% recovered from RED-S”.
She believes that with the lower physical workload and “much easier” day-to-day planning, she’ll be even better in a year’s time.
“I just knew it was time to let go of sport,” she reflects. “It’s because my charity’s given me that purpose outside of sport, as a person, not an athlete. We’re so much more than just what we do.”
While she’s still involved with cricket and will continue to play domestically, Bernie says the vast majority of her focus is now with Epic. She founded the charity after working with inmates at Christchurch Men’s Prison.
Epic provides free sport and dance lessons to vulnerable youth. It has reached more than 16,500 children within the past 12 months.
“I couldn’t turn my back on these kids for any longer,” Bernie tells. “When I moved to New Zealand 10 years ago, I was coming from a Third World country. I didn’t expect there to be so much struggle and need in our communities.”
Working full-time for a charitable trust’s a huge change for Bernie, but it’s one she says was much-needed.
“It’s not just about me any more,” she insists. “When you’re playing, you’re inherently selfish with training, nutrition and games. Now, I truly find the most joy in the kids themselves.
“I know this is a massive cliché, but when you find your true purpose and you love what you do, you truly don’t work a day in your life. I feel like my life has meaning now – and when you find that, man, life gets a lot easier!”
For more info about Epic and to donate, visit epicsportsproject.com.
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