Pictures: Emily Chalk.
At just nine months old, wee Francesca Isabel Pasek is already making her parents proud.
“She picks things up really quickly,” tells dad Alvaro.
Mum Jemma adds, “She’s hitting all her milestones. It’s just the smiles she made us wait for. She didn’t smile for the first six months – she just had this really serious look, like she was contemplating something. I blame it on her dad’s eyebrows!”
Alvaro laughs, “It’s amazing how much joy such a fleeting smile can bring you.”
The 2023 House Rules NZ winners have won the lottery with Francesca. The beautiful cherub is the apple of their eye and all they ever dreamed of.
Both from three-child households, Jemma, 33, and Alvaro, 35, always wanted a large family of their own. One of Alvaro’s brothers, who has three kids, lives close by, as does Jemma’s sister, her husband and young son.
When asked just how close the family is, Jemma jokes, “Well, Alvaro’s mum lives in our sleepout! We’ve pretty much seen them every day this summer. Everyone is so close.
“We stayed in Auckland this year for Christmas and New Year, which we haven’t done for ages. There were so many gifts for the kids at Christmas and so many generations all in one space. Alvaro’s family was here on New Year’s Day with all their little ones. It really fulfilled that dream we had of big family celebrations.”
The couple says they’re already planning baby number two – even a tough labour hasn’t put them off adding another Pasek to the mix.
“I wouldn’t say we had complications, but it didn’t exactly go according to plan,” explains Alvaro.
“I didn’t have a fixed plan, to be fair,” says Jemma. “But at the time, I was like, ‘I’m never doing that again!’ But I will, of course.”
Jemma was induced after her waters broke on her due date. Normally, the next step is to start contractions and then go into labour, but nothing happened.
“I was at home and noticed a little trickle,” she recalls. “I called my midwife and she said we should check if it was in fact my waters breaking. When I went to the hospital, they told me, ‘Yes, your waters have broken. Do you want to start the induction tonight?’ And I was like, ‘What?!’”
Because Jemma wasn’t in labour, the membrane keeping potential bad bacteria out was now exposed.
“It was accidental,” says Jemma. “I wasn’t doing anything strenuous – I was just walking down the hallway!”
Jemma and Alvaro had to wait two days to start the induction at Auckland’s Waitakere Hospital, where she took a gel called Prostaglandins every two hours.
“You’re meant to have eight doses over the first day,” she tells. “They told me, for a first-time mum, this could be happening for two to three days. But by my third dose, it was full on.”
From there, Jemma was quickly dilating.
“Everyone thought I was being overly dramatic,” she recalls. “I was like, ‘I’m dead – this is killing me!’ Within an hour, I was six centimetres dilated and by the time I got to the delivery room, I was nine centimetres dilated, which is then too late for an epidural. Everything happened so fast from there.”
It might have been the worst pain of her life, but Jemma says she appreciates experiencing the miracle of childbirth without any pain intervention.
“It wasn’t something I’d have chosen, but it’s interesting to be able to feel everything,” she tells. “I look back and go, ‘Wow! That’s pretty incredible.’ Some of my friends have had C-sections and I don’t know anyone who has given birth without an epidural. It’s nice to know I could do it again, even if it doesn’t go to plan. Next time, I’d love to do labour at home.”
Given the choice, the couple would like a two- to three-year gap between kids.
“Right now, we’re really trying to enjoy number one,” says Alvaro.
“It’s not always easy,” adds Jemma. “But I’m constantly reminding myself to enjoy it because it’s such a delicious stage, which I’m loving. I’m trying to be present, even when she’s climbing on everything. Changing her nappy is like wrestling an alligator!”
Jemma and Francesca have a set activity schedule for the next few months before Jemma goes back to work as an intermediate school teacher. Alvaro works full-time as a digital trading manager and though he’s struggled to keep up his fitness routine, he’s found a way to incorporate it into his busy lifestyle. He tries to get a run in during lunch breaks and heads to the gym most days at 4.30am, before Francesca wakes up.
“I decided I’m not giving up running or the gym, no matter what,” says Alvaro.
“I don’t want him to,” adds Jemma. “He can get quite uppity if he has too much energy!”
Alvaro gets Francesca up most mornings, which has become his favourite time of day.
“Every morning, I’ll pick her up from the cot and she’ll slowly come to be. That’s the best part. She’ll give me a little cuddle in front of the mirror and sometimes even cracks a smile.”
Jemma adds, “Just watching Alvaro be a dad is my best part.”
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