Photography: Phillip Castleton.
Torii Johnson was named long before he was even conceived. His father Ken was travelling around Japan and came across an island with a beautiful torii gate, used by the Japanese to mark the transition of the mundane to the sacred.
“I thought then that if I ever had a child, I’d call him Torii,” Ken, 74, tells Woman’s Day in an interview marking 10 years since he lost the precious son that he did, indeed, end up naming Torii Johnson.
At age 34, Torii Johnson was one of the 18 hostages in the December 2014 Lindt Café siege in Sydney, which lasted 16 hours and claimed his life, along with that of lawyer and mother-of-three Katrina Dawson, 38. But before his death, at the hands of a lone terrorist, Torii Johnson acted with extraordinary bravery and composure, even refusing the chance of escape to stay with the other hostages.
“He was always extremely thoughtful, even as a child, but his bravery really manifested in that café, when he was defending the people,” says Melbourne artist Ken.
“He had every reason to leave, but he decided to stay and made it possible for others to escape, which says a lot about him. I’m so proud of him. He was so strongly committed to his beliefs and all of his values.”
Ken and family members of the other hostages were just a block away as the horror played out. He was able to speak with his son on the phone before he died. And he’ll never forget Torii’s last words: “I love you and I’m very scared.”
When they heard gunfire, life as they knew it was all over for Ken, the rest of the family and Torii’s partner Thomas Zinn.
“The time directly after is a blur – I ran away,” says Ken, who went on a pilgrimage to Japan to find the island with the torii gate that had inspired his son’s name.
“From that point on, I tried to find islands on lakes around the world. I took Torii’s ashes everywhere, scattering a few. He was an intrepid traveller like me and I went to all the places we’d been – Canada, Spain, Sweden, Italy, the Ganges… I wanted his soul to live on.”
Ken was dragged back to stark reality with the inquest in Sydney in 2015, when the entire ordeal was replayed publicly. It was concluded the siege was mishandled and police should have gone in earlier.
“It was a big undertaking, going into court every day for six months,” says Ken, adding that he found the final finding “futile and disappointing”.
To continue his healing journey, Ken decided he wanted a giant torii gate to dedicate to his son. In a strange coincidence, someone his brother knew happened to have a discarded one.
“I rebuilt it in Byron Bay and we had a beautiful ceremony there for Torii,” recalls Ken. “But I would still I think of him all day every day. It was such a horrible travesty of justice for him and the family. The shock is still unbelievable.” Ken kept painting and also travelling, hoping that if he lost himself somewhere, something magic would happen. It took five years, but in the end, it did.
Another strange set of coincidences connected him with Susana Travassos, a Portuguese singer who performed at Eurovision.
“I started writing my thoughts and feelings about Torii. Which Susana saw online and wanted to record as songs,” tells Ken. “I’m not a musician, but suddenly we had a band and were recording in the best studios in Europe. “It was incredibly powerful and cathartic. I’d been seeing counsellors, but in the end, it was the music that gave me such strength.
“I’ve learned that you can’t control grief, but at some point, hope allows you to see things more clearly. After the album, I thought, ‘Well, he’s not coming back. I have to start going with the flow of life and not torment myself.’”
The eighth anniversary of Torii’s death was Ken’s “cut-off point”. He tells, “I’d said everything I’d wanted to say in the songs.” He built a torii gate for his home in the Mornington Peninsula, which became a space to remember Torii.
Ken was in Japan for the siege’s 10th anniversary as he didn’t want to participate in the public memorial. He doesn’t speak to Katrina’s family or other hostages because it’s just too painful to do so.
“We were in touch at the start, but it’s not fair on anyone. People have to find their own solace. “It’s not easy to go forward after going through something dramatic. But I want to give encouragement to those going through it in future. I have learned to accept and forgive, but not forget.
“The 10th year has now passed. Torii has found a different place to sit in my heart, but I still carry his ashes everywhere I go. I keep his soul alive.”
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