Real Life

Teachers share creepiest things they’ve heard kids say

Absolutely terrifying.
Creepy children

Creepy children

Teachers have taken to Reddit to share the creepiest things they’ve ever heard kids say. And they make for pretty scary reading.

From threatening to kill them to some seriously gross bodily fluid action, these children sound like something out of a horror movie.

“They need to learn to wait”

“I teach preschool and we have one girls bathroom and one boys bathroom each with two stalls in the front of the school for the kids to use I came back from my break to find my director and two girls from my class in the bathroom. THE GIRLS SHIRTS EACH HAD A SH-T HAND PRINT ON THEM. I asked what happened and my director told me that a girl who had just pooped reached in the toilet took out her sh*t and slapped it on the two girls shirts while they were waiting to use the bathroom.

The best part was my boss was trying to figure out how to get these girls shirts off without getting sh-t on their faces (as she is trying to lift the shirts over their heads) I ended up cutting the girls shirts off. Who in their right mind would want to keep a shirt with another kids sh-t on it anyway? When I confronted the sh-t smearer and asked her why she did it she told me “THEY NEED TO LEARN HOW TO WAIT!” with a very serious look on her face. It was creepy as f-ck. I have a few other stories about her and some other kids from the past but that one definitely sticks out in my mind.” Ms Winty.

Thinking time

“I’m a preschool teacher in the 3-4 year old room. The other day after putting a child in a “thinking time,” which is essentially a time out, I went over to talk to him about what he had done.

Me: “Thomas, can you talk to me and tell me why you are on a thinking time?”

Thomas: (staring forward, not meeting my eyes) “No, and I’ll come to your house and kill you if you make me.”

I stood there completely shocked. Then, he stood up, looked me straight in the eye, and laughed maniacally for a minute before hugging me and sitting back down.

Kids are scary little sh-ts.” Focus on the Girl

Bird life

“When I was a summer camp counselor (does this count as a teacher?), our group of kids was getting ready to leave the building, but this one kid was sitting away from everyone else. I went up to him asked him what was wrong, and he said “I’m angry”. I asked him what he was angry about, and he leans really close to me, and whispers, “The owls have dead eyes”. really creeped me out.” Bohring1150

Alien life force

“When I was in 5th grade we had a buddy thing with 1st graders. One time we had to go to recess with them, and I let my buddy out of my sight for a second. I found her in a deserted corner eating dirt. When I asked her why she was doing it, she turned to me, growled, and said “on my planet we eat dirt.” KommunistKat

Bush walk terror

“Every Monday we take a trip to a nearby forest so the kids can run off the energy they’ve saved up during the weekend. During our walk between the school and there we walk in pairs in a line. This day, on our way back, I end up walking last with this kid who didn’t get a walking partner. This particular kid is a very talkative, super cheerful little guy who’s rarely down or grouchy.

Anyway, we’re walking back to the school and about halfway there he says, out of nowhere: “Hey, notrandomatall?”

“Yeah?” I say, and turn to him.

He stops, looks me in the eye, sporting an ear-to-ear grin, and says: “I’m gonna cut your throat”, running a finger across his throat, still looking happy as ever.

I kept a close eye on him the rest of the day.” notrandomatall

Not quite, but close

“My favourite “quote” from one of my students is when they were curious about oral sex and one kid shot up his hand and said. ” I know what it is.. ” Oh do you Jimmy..? ” Yes.. Its when you say HELLO HELLO WE ARE HAVING SEX”… I died on the spot.” SuzyXxX

“The guilt is making me laugh like the devil”

Armless fun?

“Teaching swimming: This one kid was just a little abnormal. Not in the goofy kid way, in the “what’s wrong with him” way. When giving him instructions or telling him what to do, he would look back with a blank stare like I was speaking another language. Now he looked normal and did the normal kid things, never got in fights yet showed zero emotion.

One day instead of swimming with the other kids, I noticed he was staring at the corner…where all the bugs collect. He tore them apart limb by limb, head, torso all in separate pieces. WTF I’m thinking, that is a clear sign of a serial killer so I asked him why. He said “I like the way they wiggle when i take their arms off.” Dontknowwhattodo5

Fishy stuff

“I was working in a high school resource room. The class was dissecting fish. One of the girls with oppositional defiant disorder was convinced that the mushrooms in chicken noodles soup were really fish eyes. The teacher kept trying to correct her. So to prove her point she ate the preserved eyes of her anatomy project.” GodofSpam

Holy water

“I teach swimming. During a lesson, I once had a 7-year old kid start laughing uncontrollably (not cute guffawing, but disturbing cackling) and chanting “the guilt is making me laugh like the devil”.

I now regularly fill the pool with holy water.” Batmankoff

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