Pictures, hair & makeup: Selina Nunn
Corporate solicitor Shannon Williams is no stranger to courtrooms, having visited them numerous times for work. But the 32-year-old never dreamt she’d be on the other side of legal proceedings – as a victim of family violence.
In June, Shannon was in a court in Christchurch for the sentencing of her former partner, who had physically and verbally abused her in the home she shares with son Luca, 10.
“We have a certain view of domestic abuse from movies,” says Shannon. “We think it’ll never happen to us, but family violence can happen to anyone, no matter what your background or career.”
Shannon’s nightmare started last September, when she met her now-ex on a night out.
“I very rarely go out,” says Shannon, who’s raised her son on her own for most of his life while juggling full-time work and completing a law degree.
“But a friend’s partner offered to babysit, so my friend and I were able to go for a drink.”
Approached by her ex at a bar, she says there was an instant attraction. “We had similar family backgrounds and got on well.”
The relationship moved quickly and when her ex’s flat was being sold, he moved in with her.
“It was only about eight weeks after we met, but he was at my house most of the time anyway, so we thought it made sense,” explains Shannon.
A week after he moved in, her ex became abusive after drinking. “He punched through the sliding door and was smashing things. He was bleeding badly, so I called an ambulance, but he got angry at me and pushed me over.”
After neighbours called the police and her ex was taken away, Shannon realised she had bruising all over her legs and neck.
“It was such a blur,” she recalls. “I may have lost consciousness, so I don’t remember what he did to me.”
Shannon went to her GP to have her injuries recorded, received a police safety order (which means her ex isn’t able to contact her for a specified time) and also wrote her own affidavit to apply for a protection order.
“As a lawyer, I knew what to do, so I had the protection order two days after applying for it.”
A few weeks later, her ex contacted her to apologise.
“He was remorseful and embarrassed,” she says. “We started talking, and he eventually moved back in. I loved this man and I thought we had a future together.”
Things were good for a while, but Shannon began noticing his underlying anger issues.
“I felt like I was walking on eggshells. Every day, I did everything I could to try to keep the peace,” she says. “I thought I needed to be compassionate because he was going through issues. If I could just do more, then things would be OK.”
But after another violent incident, Shannon decided to press charges.
“It was incredibly difficult having the courage to stand up not just for myself, but for the next woman who might be impacted,” she tells. “I also wanted Luca to see people have to be held accountable for their behaviour and for him to have good role models.”
While Shannon admits she’s been through hell – feeling fearful and anxious, losing 17kg and not being able to sleep – having the support of friends, family and organisations such as Barnardos Aotearoa helped.
“Barnardos has a women’s safety programme, which involved weekly meetings. There, I was able to share my story with other women who understood,” she reveals. “It also taught me to better understand abuse, learn to set boundaries, recognise manipulative tactics, and prioritise my own and Luca’s safety.”
Luca also attended Barnardos’ child-safety progamme with a social worker. They taught him that not all adults are safe and what he could do to keep himself out of danger.
While Shannon admits to “a degree of privilege” in knowing how the legal system works and having previously addressed a court, she says it helped that no one passed comment on her.
“Neither the police nor the social workers or court staff judged me,” she says. “I felt quite embarrassed to stand up in court because those people are my colleagues, but everyone was so kind.”
After her ex got eight months of home detention, Shannon was ready to move on. However, people have recently notified her that her ex has appealed his sentence to the High Court.
“I still pop into Barnardos for a weekly coffee meeting because their ongoing support for the trauma I’ve suffered is important. Especially if I’m having a bad day. But I’m getting stronger and am focusing on my career.
“Having been through this experience, I might even specialise in criminal law. Luca and I are also keen to have some fun. It’s been a tough year, and we deserve some fun!”
The Are You OK family violence helpline is available 24/7 on 0800 456 450.
In an emergency, always call 111. For more information about the Barnardos service, visit barnardos.org.nz.
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