W hen it came to finding her perfect match, Canterbury woman Jane Watson didn’t let social taboos or even the law stop her from falling in love with her father-in-law. The fact that Peter (75) was her first husband’s father didn’t prevent their love from growing when she and her young son went to help out at his farm in Oxford, near Christchurch.
Nineteen years later, after being diagnosed with terminal breast cancer, Jane wrote to the Weekly wanting to share her and Peter’s love story. She says she wasn’t romantically interested in Peter before he asked her to move in, but she thought the arrangement could provide stability for her son Stuart – who was also Peter’s grandchild.
However, within weeks Jane (49), who had been separated from Peter’s son for two years, was seeing Peter as more than just Stuart’s grandfather. When she realised he could be the man for her, she didn’t have to do any soul searching because being with him just felt right.
“He had a laid-back attitude and I liked the farm life. And Stuart needed stability and love,” says Jane, speaking to New Zealand Woman’s Weekly from the couple’s home in Rangiora. She’s says it soon became clear that Peter shared her feelings. “He asked me to marry him five weeks after we moved in and two years and a half years later I did.”
She will never forget her surprise when he proposed. “I got out of the shower and went to put my nighty on and I found the ring under my pillow,” recalls Jane, who didn’t hesitate to accept. But when they tried to get a marriage licence, they discovered they were forbidden to do so by the Marriage Act of 1955 and had to apply to the court for a special exemption.
They were granted permission to marry but the licence cost them $1500 instead of the usual fee of around $100. The couple exchanged vows in a garden ceremony in Winchester – the bride wore pink and Jane still has her dress. It was Jane’s “can do” attitude that won Peter’s heart and he never considered keeping his distance because of her three-year marriage to his son.
“All she needed was some encouragement and it’s proved it’s worth. She just keeps going,” says Peter of his terminally ill wife. He himself suffers from emphysema and, tragically, his first wife died of breast cancer.
Jane says her breast cancer was discovered in 2009 after a mammogram failed to detect the lump. “Seven months later I was rushed to hospital because I kept passing out. Blood tests and an ultrasound scan picked up cancer.”
Sadly it had already spread to her stomach and bones. She’s angry the cancer wasn’t caught in time and urges other women to have ultrasound scans, as well as mammograms. Jane has been thankful for Peter’s ongoing support during her illness. “Peter’s been my rock. I’ve had a good life – with Peter.”
Some of her friends drifted away after she married Peter but none of them told Jane that she was making a mistake. The couple never see Peter’s son and Peter says they were already estranged when he and Jane fell in love. “I don’t know where he is,” says Jane, adding that Stuart grew up with Peter as his father figure. “Stuart loves him to bits and thinks the world of Peter.”
Jane says the secret to the success of their marriage is that she got to know Peter first and they enjoyed a long engagement. “We’re best friends. Peter just wants loving.” Peter agrees friendship has been a pillar of their marriage. “These lovey-type things are all very well but I think in the long run it’s friendship that lasts.”
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