Photography: Emma Winza.
For most of her life and high-performing career, Fleur Marks believed that hard work could get her through anything. So when she started coughing up blood while running a marathon through a Bordeaux vineyard in France, she assumed it was just red wine – a perk of the event – and kept going.
Not long after, at 39, the mum of two was diagnosed with sarcoidosis – a rare, incurable autoimmune condition that eventually forced her to finally stop chasing success at all costs.
“I was the definition of an overachiever,” reflects Fleur, now 55.
Raised by entrepreneurial parents in a busy, blended family, Fleur grew up believing that, “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.” By her mid-thirties, she’d built an impressive career in advertising, and moved to Singapore with her husband Pete and their children, Isabella and Luca, to lead a major global brand and live the supposedly glamorous expat life.
Yet behind the polished exterior, Fleur was exhausted by the corporate demands and trying to still be present for her children.
“I was in multiple countries every week, 24/7 on a plane travelling between New York, London and Asia,” she explains.
“There was massive responsibility and pressure.”
A moment that changed everything
Still, the formidable wahine (Ngāti Kauwhata and Ngāti Kuia) kept pushing forward, until a quiet comment from her then-five-year-old daughter stopped her in her tracks.
“She looked up at me with total innocence and said, ‘When can I have my mummy back?’” shares Fleur.
“That was a bit of a gut punch.”
A moment that changed everything
In an attempt to make family life more sustainable, Fleur relocated to Australia for a less demanding role. Even so, the toll of chronic stress was catching up with her. Near-constant headaches and fatigue became her normal, and after the marathon in France in 2009, her health collapsed completely.
“It got to the point where I couldn’t get through a sentence without coughing up blood,” she recalls.
Fleur was diagnosed with multi-organ stage-four sarcoidosis. The disease causes clumps of inflammatory cells to grow in various organs. For Fleur, it was in her lymph nodes, meaning it could appear anywhere in her body.
“This was my 39th year and the doctors weren’t sure I would make my 40th,” shares Fleur.
When treatment stops working
Most sarcoidosis patients respond well to treatment, but nothing seemed to work for Fleur. In total, she has had 23 rounds of chemotherapy – four to eight rounds are the standard – multiple surgeries, steroids and immunotherapy treatment.
Unable to work for 18 months and with Pete at home looking after the kids, the couple could no longer afford the fancy cars or house repayments.
“Everything we worked so hard for – my identity and role, our houses – was gone when I couldn’t work,” admits Fleur.
Trying to push through
Determined to rebuild their life, Fleur returned to work while still under-going treatment.
She says, “I was kind of in denial for a few years, thinking I could overachieve my way out of this.”
Then in 2015, Fleur learned the sarcoidosis had spread to her brain.
“It was then I really realised, if you don’t have your health, you have nothing,” she reflects.
Hitting rock bottom
“We had lost everything and all I truly wanted was 24 hours in a well body.”
The only option left was acceptance.
Fleur realised, “I cannot control whether I live or die… What I can choose is how I respond to my reality and how I want to show up for life despite it being out of my control.”
A new devastating diagnosis
This was a profound shift that proved invaluable when, in 2017, Fleur was given another devastating diagnosis – breast cancer, that was picked up during a routine mammogram. Fleur, then 47, recalls standing alone on the beach, pleading with a higher power.
“The deal I made with the universe and God was, ‘Please let me stay here long enough to see my children grow up and in doing so, I’m going to help others not end up like me.’”
That promise led to becoming a leadership coach and an author. Fleur’s newly released book, The Overachiever’s Reset, shares the deeply personal lessons she has learned about burnout, perfectionism and self-worth, and how to approach success more sustainably.
A mission to help others
“My book matters so much to me,” says Fleur.
“I am still in the waiting room of death, but it is an opportunity for me while I am here to make sure I help as many people as possible.”
Fleur knows her future is still uncertain. In December 2025, a second primary breast cancer was picked up in her other breast and she has just finished radiation treatment. But by prioritising purpose-driven work and her family, she’s also the happiest she has ever been.
“We often live our lives as if we’re invincible, but we’re very aware that every day is precious,” she says.
