Life seemed normal for Laura Graham as she juggled family, work, and the Bay of Plenty farm she shares with her husband Scott and their three kids. But deep down, she knew her body was feeling different.
The signs were small. A bit of bloating that came and went, a vague ache in her pelvis at night and a burning sensation that felt exactly like a urinary tract infection.
Laura, 40, recalls, “I just thought, ‘Oh, it’s a UTI – I’ll get some antibiotics and I’ll be fine’. It didn’t feel serious.”
Regardless, she booked in to see a locum doctor, with each of three visits bringing a new possibility. First, they thought it was a UTI, then a sexually transmitted infection and finally a potential prolapse.
“I kept thinking I’d pulled something from working out,” she explains.
“Or that it was just my body being a bit off. Everything was so subtle.”
A life-changing diagnosis
Even when Laura’s urine test initially suggested infection, the antibiotics were stopped when results came back clear.
“I was still going to work, exercising and trying to just get on with life.”
Yet week by week, as her symptoms worsened, the night-time discomfort Laura was feeling was becoming harder to ignore. It wasn’t until her regular GP returned “and listened to everything” that blood tests were ordered.
“Within two days, I had results that completely changed my life. I remember my doctor saying, ‘Laura, I’m so sorry. You need to prepare for the worst.’”
With her CA125 blood marker – a protein in the blood that may be elevated in women with ovarian cancer – extremely high, she discovered she had a tumour on her ovary. Heartbreakingly, she had to process that initial diagnosis on the same day as her 10-year wedding anniversary. Together, Laura and Scott, 39, “went out to dinner that night like nothing had happened – but it had”, she says softly.
It wasn’t until later that evening reality finally hit.
Laura shares, “I cried for hours. All I could think about was my kids. I kept thinking, ‘I won’t see them grow up.’”
Lost in the system
However, as weeks passed in a blur of referrals and missed handovers, more questions than answers remained. The only confirmation Laura eventually got of her diagnosis of stage-four ovarian cancer was an email.
“No one actually told me,” she says.
“I just read it.”
She then waited for an oncologist and scans that never appeared, and she started to realise she wasn’t a priority.
Falling through the cracks
“I felt like I was falling through the cracks,” reflects Laura, who was wracked with pain by this stage.
Although she had private health insurance, as Christmas approached, she was encouraged into the public system because the private hospital was closed. Still little happened and eventually Laura took matters into her own hands, requesting a private referral.
A plan at last
Within days, she had an oncologist, a treatment plan and began chemotherapy. Yet despite the ovarian cancer diagnosis occurring in December, her treatment didn’t start until February this year. Sadly, Laura’s experience isn’t isolated. In New Zealand, about 85% of women are not diagnosed with ovarian cancer until they are stage three or four. By stage four, the chances of survival drop dramatically.
Having just finished her fourth round of chemo, Laura’s now focusing only on the things she can control – herself and her family.
“I see chemo as something that’s helping me,” she tells.
“It’s fighting for me, but I know I need to look after myself.”
Finding strength in nature
Each day, she walks the farm tracks around Galatea.
“Nature is my destresser,” she explains.
“Some days are hard and some days are good, but I still go. My trainer kindly gave me a full year of training for free, so I’ve been doing sessions with her too.”
For now, life is about creating balance for her children – Cole, nine, Bailey, seven, and four-year-old Aria – and finding ways to make it all feel less frightening.
The kids are keeping her going
“They’re amazing,” smiles Laura.
“They just adapt. They want to be part of it all – even the hard bits.”
Looking back at her journey, Laura says the best advice she can give anyone going through a cancer diagnosis is to advocate for yourself.
“Chase everything – don’t wait around!” she warns.
“It’s been an emotional rollercoaster and I’m still upset with the way the public health system continues to let me down. But I don’t blame my medical centre – they’ve become my rock. They send weekly emails checking in on me and the nurse does home visits to take my bloods, to ensure I’m not exposed to any bugs while my immune system is at its weakest.”
While Laura hasn’t been given a prognosis, her family is praying for the best.
She enthuses, “I want to be around for them as long as I can.”
