If you’ve seen children’s entertainer Kath Bee perform recently, you may have noticed her special new sidekick. The award-winning songwriter’s three-year-old granddaughter, Elsie, has decided she’s not content to sit in the audience and watch; she belongs on stage with her nana.
“She loves being on stage,” the 59-year-old smiles.
“My daughter brought her along to one of my concerts recently, and she came up straight away. She spent the whole time dancing and having the best time. “The other day, I said I was going to watch a concert and she said, ‘Am I coming? Are we going on stage?’”
Finding joy amidst struggle
These little moments of joy with her daughter, Siân Kerr, 35, and granddaughter Elsie are especially meaningful these days, as Kath reveals she has been living under a dark cloud of anxiety for the past five years.
An endless series of tragic events, compounded by burnout and severe menopause symptoms, left her waking up with a pit of dread in her stomach every day. It began in 2019 when Kath lost her mum and one of her closest friends within weeks of each other.
Processing grief
“They had both been anchors in my life, and suddenly I felt like I was this hot air balloon floating around,” reflects Kath.
“My mother had been on a journey with dementia, so we had already lost her in a way, but the grief hit later.”
Between holding down a full-time job and keeping her music career going on the side, she became burned out and didn’t have time to process her grief properly. In 2022, Siân lost her house in a fire. Later that year, after giving birth to Elsie, she was rushed from Nelson to Christchurch Hospital after tearing her oesophagus during childbirth. It tipped Kath over the edge, and her anxiety became all-consuming.
When anxiety took over
“I started catastrophising everything. If I heard a siren, I would immediately think that Siân was dying or something had happened to Elsie.”
When she reached the point where she couldn’t be bothered to do her daily chores, she knew she needed to make a change.
“I had always enjoyed my daily chores, but it came to the point where I was thinking, ‘What’s the point of cleaning?’ That’s when I thought, ‘Kath, this isn’t like you.’”
Seeking help
She tried everything to tackle the voice in her head. She went to counselling and was on anxiety medication as well as HRT for a time, but she didn’t enjoy the side effects. It’s taken a lot of work, but Kath finally feels like she can see the light on the other side.
“I’ve been trying to get back to my old self. I think I have to let go of that and embrace my new self.”
One of the things that has helped her through is her music. Kath has been writing songs for children for 25 years and has won four APRA Awards. She loves that her music can help kids build confidence or learn important lessons. Her latest, Elastic Island Adventure Song, is a companion to the popular children’s book series of the same name by Karen McMillan. Kids can
listen to the catchy tune while reading.
The lasting impact of her music
“I still have adults who come up to me and tell me that they grew up singing my music. That’s the best payoff – that people have carried the lessons of the music and lived by them.”
With her 60th birthday on the horizon, Kath is ready to turn to a new chapter. She hopes to set the tone of her new decade with a weekend of celebrations in Hamner Springs with Siân, Elsie and a few of her closest friends. Siân is also expecting her second baby and Kath can’t wait to create new memories with her growing family, without the spectre of anxiety looming over her.
“Sian’s such a wonderful mum – I’m so proud of her,” says Kath.
“I’ve done some awesome things with Elsie, and I’m looking forward to spending more quality time with her and enjoying every moment instead of being caught in the worry.”
Embracing the future with optimism
Though Kath will always write music, she doesn’t know what else the future holds for her, but she is excited to find out.
“I wanted to celebrate my birthday properly because I think 60 is quite a milestone. I’m looking forward to seeing where my life heads.”
Elastic Island Adventures Song is streaming now wherever you listen to music.
