Squabbling over a game of cards as if they’ve been doing this their whole lives, you’d never know sisters Hillie Moot, 63, and Lia Kuis, 73, only met each other for the first time six months ago. Or that before a DNA kit revealed their connection, Lia believed she was the only surviving member of her family and was struggling with her physical health, losing the will to live.
That was until August last year, when in her homeland of The Netherlands, Lia received a phone call from New Zealand. It was a nervous Hillie calling from Christchurch to say, “I think you’re my half-sister.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Lia responded, “I’m not your half-sister – I’m your sister.”
A surprising discovery
Though it came as a surprise to both to discover a sibling half a world away, the connection was instant and easy. Hillie, the fourth of seven children, found out at the age of 28 that her dad who raised her wasn’t her biological father after a medical incident revealed she had a different blood type than both of her parents. But they refused to talk about it.
Even now, it’s a complicated subject for her dad in New Zealand, and her mother died without ever explaining more. Last year, Hillie gifted herself an ancestry DNA kit and used it. The test returned so many suggested relatives in The Netherlands, where she was born and lived before immigrating to New Zealand in 1979 at 16, that Hillie initially wrote it off as “a load of rubbish”.
Digging deeper
But intrigued, her son Joshua decided to dig a little deeper. Pouring over family trees, tracking down church birth records and even hiring private detectives in Holland, he ended up with Lia’s name. A post on Facebook from Joshua saying former neighbours – Hillie’s family lived in the house behind Lia’s as children – were searching for Lia was the final piece of the puzzle in finding her.
A lifeline across the miles
For Lia, the timing was nothing short of life-saving. Alone after the death of her beloved dog and sister Susane, Lia was battling severe chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, which affects the lungs and meant she relied on daily oxygen, and spent nearly every day alone in front of the TV.
In Hillie, Lia found a lifeline and a reason to get up each morning as they started talking on the phone for hours every day.
“We just never run out of words with each other – it’s quite unbelievable,” shares Hillie.
Meeting in person
In March this year, Hillie and her husband David flew to The Netherlands to meet Lia in person.
“We couldn’t stop smiling,” beams Hillie.
“We just kept looking at each other, checking, ‘Are we similar?’ Lia takes after her mum and I take after my dad. But by crikey, nature-wise, we’re very similar.”
Returning home
After three weeks in The Netherlands, the trio flew back to Aotearoa so Lia could meet her extended family, who were eagerly waiting at the airport. Hillie and David are parents of three and have five grandchildren.
“I’ve never been called aunty and now I have real nephews and a niece who call me that,” enthuses Lia, who never married.
Trouble and laughter
The transformation in Lia is nothing short of remarkable. Full of joy and mischief, Hillie says the pair has developed a reputation in their Christchurch community as “trouble” because they’re so often spotted cackling away together, debating politics or fighting tooth and nail over cards.
“We laugh so much,” says Hillie, who’s learning more about the biological father she never got to know.
“Lia says in a lot of ways that I’m like him. When we talk politics, she just laughs when I get quite heated and says, ‘It’s like my dad’s come back.’ I’m getting to know him through Lia.”
David says it’s been a privilege to watch the inseparable pair making up for lost time.
Peacemaker and witness
“Sometimes I have to be the peacemaker for these ladies,” he laughs.
“But it’s been so lovely. I’ve watched them grow together and in that there’s healing too.”
Another unexpected benefit has been the turnaround in Lia’s health. She’s stopped using the oxygen machine entirely and is thriving, even travelling around the South Island with her sister. Reluctant to lose any more time, Lia has extended her initial three-month stay in New Zealand to six months.
Looking ahead
Then the plan is for Hillie and David to meet Lia in The Netherlands again March next year, then bring her back Down Under for another stint. After a lifetime apart, the siblings are making up for lost time – one conversation, coffee and card game at a time.
“We just want to celebrate Lia being part of our family,” enthuses Hillie.
