Pictures: Eve Maria Studio
When two rugby legends tie the knot, there are a few givens. It’s bound to be big, it’s going to be fun and the sporting heroes will take any drama in their stride – even when everything threatens to fall to pieces.
“It’s been a bit of a s**tshow, to be fair,” laughs former Black Ferns star Grace Steinmetz when Woman’s Day speaks to her and her groom Rameka “Rum” Poihipi – who plays for the Chiefs – just before the wedding. “Our caterer pulled out, the bridal party’s Airbnb cancelled on us and the DJ quit three weeks from the wedding!”
Yet despite the setbacks, due to their years of playing professional rugby, Grace and Rameka, both 26, were unfazed by the drama.
“Being athletes and having quite an adaptable lifestyle – we’re always here, there and everywhere – when things go wrong, you just find a solution,” explains Grace. “We didn’t sweat it. We just said, ‘It is what it is,’ and found replacements.”
In the end, their three-day celebration turned out exactly how they planned. “It was honestly the best weekend of my life,” says Rameka, speaking to us again soon after the nuptials. “It was one huge party with everyone we know – and the DJ was a really good vibe.”
“The entire day was genuinely beyond magical,” adds Grace, who wore a gorgeous gown from James Brown Label, while her bridesmaids were dressed by Blak, all with earrings from Zoë Porter and shoes from Chaos & Harmony. “Nothing could have gone any better. Some guests told us they’d never seen so many people on the dancefloor at a wedding. DJ KG ended up staying an hour and a half longer than he meant to. He was just having so much fun!”
And they found new accommodation for the bridal party right on Papamoa Beach. “We saw dolphins the morning of the wedding!” grins Grace.
Te Tumu Estate in Papamoa was the perfect location for their 160-guest, long-weekend celebration. The couple chose the venue because the Poihipi whānau currently resides in Pukehina, just 10 minutes away, and Rameka grew up in Papamoa. The idea was to spread the celebration across three days, so the couple could catch up with guests, made up mostly of family and fellow rugby players. “It was so good seeing everyone together,” says Rameka, who wore a suit and shirt from Rembrandt. “Watching people who didn’t know each other all interacting was cool to see.”
Asked if there were any tears, Rameka shares, “Nah, it was just real hot and I got a bit sweaty.” Grace laughs, “There were a few tears – from both of us!”
Everything fell into place. Even the caterer, Hashtag Street Food, was better than they could have imagined, smiles Rameka. “We didn’t get much time to eat anything, but everyone else enjoyed it!”
The initial problems were almost a blessing in disguise, but the pair – who exchanged rings from Polished Diamonds – are used to that. It was only four months ago that Grace learned the devastating news that she would never play professional rugby again due to a brain injury.
Following her seventh concussion, she decided to undergo a brain scan for peace of mind. “When the results came back, the doctor told me to come in and bring Rameka with me. That’s never good,” explains Grace. “There are men in the game who have hundreds of concussions, so I wasn’t expecting anything serious. Usually nothing comes back, but this time it did.”
Although it was a huge blow having to be taken off the field permanently, Grace says there was also a sense of gratitude that she followed her intuition.
“After the scan, doctors told me if I was to have another knock, it could be traumatic. So, New Zealand Rugby, with their duty of care, couldn’t put me back on the field.”
Although it was clear Grace’s career was over, it took time for the news to sink in. She says, “It was a bit of a mind game, where I’d think, ‘Maybe someone’s got it wrong and I’m not actually done.’ I went through the whole process of seeing different neurologists for second and third opinions. I’m still going through that process because I’m contracted until May 2025, but I obviously can’t play.”
Luckily, Grace hasn’t experienced any symptoms from her latest concussion. She’d also finished a degree in law before she began playing professional rugby full-time. She feels extremely relieved to have that career to fall back on.
Having graduated and been admitted to the bar four years ago, she has also recently started her own management agency, Athlete Advantage. It represents sports stars in their contract negotiations, plus marketing and sponsorship endorsements. It’ll operate as a side hustle to her legal career.
“There is a massive sense of gratitude that we found out about the injury before it could get worse,” says Grace. “I don’t have insomnia or headaches, like a lot of players do after bad concussions.
“In the scheme of things, looking back, I was probably the best person for it to happen to. Being a female, I probably would have had a shortened career anyway. I was always excited to take that next step into law. Of course, it’s devastating to have something taken away when you’re not ready and it’s not on your terms, but I know I’m fortunate in many ways.”
Due to her injury, Grace had to sit out of a game of bullrush during the wedding celebrations. However, she tries to stay active and even plans to do a few workouts during the couple’s honeymoon in Fiji.
“We’re always worried about training while we’re away. We make sure we still get all our runs and gym workouts in,” tells Grace. She has taken her husband’s surname. “I feel guilty not keeping up with Rum, so I still try to make an effort.”
Grace is about to start her job with a law firm early next year, but it’s not so much the moving she’s anxious about – more the lack of it.
“There are definitely hard things about being an athlete, but we do have flexible lifestyles. I’m a bit worried about the nine to five! I’ve never worked an office job a day in my life, but I’m also excited to see where it takes me.”
When it comes to having kids, the pair hope it’s on the cards.
Grace smiles, “We’re not against it, but I’m just now stepping into my next career. I won’t feel disappointed if it doesn’t happen right away – and we need to get through the summer first!”
Over the next few months, the newlyweds have a huge line-up of events – their honeymoon, Christmas with family in Taranaki, the Rhythm & Vines music festival, a friend’s hens do and wedding, then the One Love festival.
“It’s going to be a massive summer and a massive year of change,” says Grace, looking at her husband. “We’re excited for the future. You just never know what’s going to happen.”
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