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Are you in a relationship that isn’t quite working the way you’d hoped it would? Considering a break up but aren’t sure how to approach it? This can be a challenging and potentially confronting topic to broach for both people involved, and it’s never one anyone looks forward to.
Statistically, most break ups happen on December 11th, so you’re certainly not the only one.
As we approach the big date, Clinical Psychologist Rachel Harker shares her expert advice on how to break up with someone so that hopefully the process rolls out a little bit smoother for you.
If you are feeling safe and secure in your own support system and surroundings, below are some tips for how to break up with someone with care and respect, and also how to look after yourself in the process.
1. Be Honest & Don’t Blame
Don’t beat around the bush or make up a reason for the breakup. Be respectful of your partner and let them know why you have made this decision without placing the blame entirely on them. Think about what you want to say ahead of time and plan the conversation to help you prepare.
2. Breakup In Person
If possible, always have this conversation in person. Consider a private, neutral space.
3. Write a Letter
If you are feeling anxious about conveying your message or getting your wording right, consider writing a letter to either give or read out to your partner. This will help ensure you get out all your thoughts and feelings.
4. Give Them Space to React
Allow them to process this news in whatever way comes naturally to them. They may need time to process their emotions and what they just heard, especially if the breakup came as a shock to them.
5. Set Boundaries
Once the conversation is over, set and agree upon boundaries. Is it important for another face-to-face? Or a phone call in a few days to check in? Or is it best to have some time apart? Agree together what the best next step is for both of you. You both may need some time before you can decide if you will remain in each other’s lives.
6. Self-Care & Look After Yourself
Yes, you just did the breaking up, but it’s also important that you look after yourself right now. Whatever the reason for the breakup, you are likely also grieving the end of this chapter of your life. Prioritise looking after yourself, self-compassion is important during times of loss. Ensure you get adequate sleep, exercise and good nutrition. Our physical and mental health is deeply interconnected, and maintaining these foundations is vital during tough times.
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