Separation anxiety
Hi Jay-Jay,
This is my baby’s last year of high school and he’s talking about going to the other end of the country to study. I’m not sure how he’d cope as he doesn’t cook, do his washing, drive or pay any bills. I have been telling him to stay here as I honestly think that’s the best thing, but he won’t listen to me. Help!
Stressed Mum, Auckland
Kia ora, Stressed Mum!
I have many friends who have been in your position over the last couple of years with their sons headed to uni without a care in the world. It’s hard to let go, right? But it’s time. The life experience he is about to get at university is going to be essential for his growth.
A couple of my friends flew down to the campus with their sons and set up their rooms for them, fussed over them and sent them meal kits etc, but their boys didn’t actually want that. They wanted to just get on with things in their own way. Your son will learn to do his washing out of necessity, he will learn to feed himself out of necessity, the bills and driving will come later too.
Mothering him isn’t going to set him up to be a great partner for someone either. The more independent he can become, the better prepared he’ll be for a live-in relationship when that time comes, and in the meantime, perhaps a new partner may even teach him a few things anyway!
So please do not worry. Your “baby” is becoming a man and I’m sure, with your continued love and support from afar, he will turn out just fine.
Good luck, Jay-Jay
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