Dear Jay-Jay,
I’m about to have my first child, a boy. He is due around Christmas. My husband and I are so excited to meet our son, but we have an issue that is driving a wedge between us. My husband wants our son circumcised and I do not.
My husband is circumcised and wants our son to be like him. I think it’s old-fashioned and cruel. What’s the point of circumcision? For aesthetic reasons? If so, then I want our son to choose for himself, but my husband says it’s extremely painful to have it done later in life.
We’re at a standstill over this and it’s causing me so much stress. What would you do?
Florence, Auckland
Hi Florence,
You should be having the most beautiful and happy time of your life right now, but it’s full of stress because of opposing opinions. I’m sorry. This must be so hard for you both. I know circumcision is not as common nowadays and there must be a good reason for that, aside from religious beliefs.
Waiting until your son is old enough to choose for himself is a good way to avoid the circumcision for now. I’m sure your son probably won’t feel the need to go through with it later in life.
I have someone close to me – I’ll save him from embarrassment by not naming him – who was circumcised at around 12 years old. Because the foreskin was so tight, it hurt for him to get an erection. But the pain of the circumcision and recovery was not pleasant.
I can’t take sides, especially since I don’t know you, so I think you need to take this dilemma to someone more qualified than me – a doctor! They will explain reasons for and against the circumcision, and maybe mediate a solution between you and your husband.
Since you can’t come to an agreement yourselves, insist your hubby at least goes to the doctor with you to get a professional opinion. I hope that helps.
All the best, Jay-Jay
A problem shared is a problem halved! Send your sticky issues to Jay-Jay – email [email protected].
