Photography: Kellie Blizard.
Aotearoa’s electronic music powerhouse Tali is in her goddess era. Blazing a career that’s taken her from the farms of Taranaki to the music scene in the UK, then back to New Zealand, the drum-and-bass MC has just debuted her latest record, Empress Era.
“I guess this is my perimenopause album,” says Tali, 50, whose full name is Natalia Sheppard.
“It’s dedicated to all my sisters who are going through it – not just menopause, but whatever you’re going through. I had to get out of my system what I needed to say.”
Tali has many strings to her bow. She’s written a novel and the music for a British political musical. She does voiceover work, writes music for film and TV, and officiates weddings as a celebrant. A typical Sagittarius, she’s adventurous and always willing to try something new.
She’s mellowed as she welcomes middle age.
“I’m at this point in my life where I have zero f**ks to give,” says Tali, whose first symptoms of menopause saw her crying all the time and having dark, intrusive thoughts. It wasn’t depression – she knows what that feels like. This was different.
Struggling with identity and anxiety
“Mine was a deep sadness and brain fog, not really knowing where I fit in, anxiety with people who love me and questioning my relationships.”
Her doctor put her on HRT and suddenly the dark thoughts went out the window.
“These old misconceptions I had about myself and the world fell away,” she tells.
The Witches’ Coven
Her musician friends – including Anika Moa, Hollie Smith, Tami Neilson, Anna Coddington, Mel Parsons and Fur Patrol’s Julia Deans – help her feel empowered. They call themselves the Witches’ Coven.
“We try to meet up every couple of months,” smiles Tali.
“Sometimes we’ll go to Anika’s house and the kids are running around, or we’ll go to Tami’s house for wine and cheese. We sit, talk and sing. “I feel really seen and heard by all those women. We’ve been through similar things. We know what it’s like to be a woman in a male-dominated industry. It’s been noted in the group chat that we’re overdue for another catch-up.”
Sharing wisdom while staying humble
Tali’s keen to pass on her newfound wisdom to younger women, but she insists she’s still learning every day.
“I do have sage advice to give, but don’t look to me to be a mouthpiece or mentor for all the women in the industry because I’m not perfect by any means.”
And to be clear, Tali isn’t calling herself an empress.
Embodying power, passion, and authenticity
“It’s about embodying the energy of an empress – the wisdom and knowledge that is gained by creating a legacy. An empress has to negotiate, navigate, fight, teach, empower others, imparting love and care. “I’ve never been fortunate enough to have kids, but I’m a really amazing aunty to a plethora of children. The minute my friends had babies, they were thrust into my arms. Now they come running and they climb all over me. It’s that feminine, motherly aunty energy that can’t be replicated. You don’t have to be a mum to have that force or that power.”
Tali is hoping for a formal diagnosis for ADHD, but not necessarily so she can be medicated – although that might help as perimenopause can exacerbate symptoms of ADHD and it’s already so busy in her brain.
Challenging expectations
She explains, “It would just be validating because for a very large part of my life, I wondered what’s wrong with me, why I can’t focus, why I have such an aversion to doing certain things and why it’s so anxiety-inducing.
“This is some of the most honest music that I’ve ever written. It’s confronting to admit you’re of a certain age and still performing electronic music to an audience of 18- to 25-year-olds. The boys are like, ‘She’s kind of hot, but she’s kind of old!’”
Tali wonders if she can still be crazy and sexy on stage or if she has to tone it down. Occasionally, she just wants someone to ask if she’s OK and has what she needs. She’s full of ambition and dreams, and is always trying to escape the box she’s been placed in.
Breaking boundaries
“Sometimes I just wish people would ask me to do some things that are outside of what they see,” she laughs.
“I’d be on Dancing With The Stars – I’m a good dancer! I want to do what makes me happy and brings me joy. If I do what I’m good at, it’ll inspire others.”
Tali invites readers to give drum-and-bass music an honest listen. It’s for everyone, she insists.
“You’ll dance your arse off, hear deep, emotional lyrics, and feel a connection with people and the whenua, the land.”
There’s a misconception that electronic music is vapid or shallow.
Tali smiles, “Sure, not everybody is saying something all the time, but I can tell you that I’m always going to be saying something.”
Empress Era is out now.
