When Christchurch musician Karra Rhodes found herself in an abusive relationship and a new country in her early twenties, it was a domestic abuse helpline that she called.
“We had a short conversation and I remember they just snapped me out of it,” she shares.
“It was a huge wake-up call. I have a terrible issue with not being able to be angry – I can’t hold on to a grudge. But it was them saying to me, ‘This is not OK. This is not right. This is going to get worse’. After I made the call, I spoke to a colleague, got the police involved and acted on it.”
This experience is why the Scottish-born artist is giving all proceeds from her recently released debut album Hometown Therapy to domestic violence charity Shine for one year, matched by her music publisher Big Pops. The album’s themes of domestic violence, mental health and identity draw on experiences from the talented 30-year-old singer’s life.
The mum of two, who started playing guitar as a child, has until recently kept her song-writing private.
Finding her voice
“I didn’t write music until two and a half years ago,” she says.
“I was at the age where I was like, ‘I love this. Why am I not doing it?’ I never thought anything would come of it.”
Teaming up with award-winning producer Greg Haver, who helped capture the Celtic-Scottish sound she wanted, and recording the album proved emotionally healing for Karra.
“In the sense of having something horrible but making it my own story, instead of something that happened to me,” explains Karra, who moved to New Zealand in 2017 at 22 because her mum was born here.”
Two homes, one heart
“It’s like Scotland’s home, but New Zealand’s home too,” she says.
“I just wish I could push the two countries together so it wasn’t so far.”
While she never expected her experience with domestic violence would end up on the album, it came through when she started writing.
“I’ve moved on with my life, but it does come out in the music,” she shares.
“People don’t write about that very often. I really wanted to tell that story so people might say, ‘Oh, I’m not alone. There’s somebody else – there’s a next chapter.’”
Full circle
Karra’s healing included meeting husband Charl, having two kids – Elaina, seven, and six-year-old Tobias – and qualifying as a family lawyer.
“I was admitted to the bar in March last year and it’s been full-on,” she says.
“But I absolutely love this area of the law. I love the people. I love the fact that, again, it’s full circle because I’m helping people who might have been in the same position as me.”
The album also discusses the experience of living with mental illness.
“If you listen to the song Stephen’s Son, it might be for anybody who’s dealing with family going through that, and having to deal with looking after them and being scared to turn your back on them,” she explains.
Finding balance
Karra balances work and motherhood by trying to be as present as possible at home with her family, which includes two dogs.
“It might not seem like it, but I’m trying to slow down,” grins Karra, who is supporting Australian musician David McCredie on tour in April.
“I’ll go for a walk when I’m not playing music or take time with the kids with my phone completely away. It’s trying to remember that it’s not all going to fall apart if I’m not 100% on it.”
Living in her “peaceful” rural home just out of Christchurch also helps.
From city girl to storyteller
“We’ve got mountain views. It’s nice because I’m such a city girl.”
It’s also the perfect place to write – not just songs, but books too.
“One day, I was driving home and my partner asked, ‘What are you thinking about?’ And I said, ‘Oh, I’ve got this story in my head’. “I thought everybody drove around making up fantasy stories about people with magical powers and anarchy! That’s when I found out not many people do, so I went home and started writing my first book.”
Since then, Karra has penned multiple memoirs, four novels and two short novels. Her message to her kids is, “You can do it all!”
Her daughter Elaina is already inspired. She writes her own songs, plays drums and piano, and performed with her mum at Wairarapa Music in the Country last week.
Inspiring the next generation
“Elaina lives and breathes music,” enthuses Karra.
“When teachers ask her what she wants to do, she says, ‘I want to be a singing policewoman’. It’s great to show her that a woman can have multiple roles.”
This is something Karra knows she’s truly practising. “Yes, we can have a job and be a mum, but we can also chase something big.”
If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call Shine on 0508 744 633 or visit 2shine.org.nz.
