Photography: Alice Veysey
Cuddling her smiling baby son on her knee, Shiray Kākā admits this is both the happiest and the toughest time of her life. The Black Ferns star and her husband of nine years, fellow sevens player Gillies, welcomed their first child, Korihi, last September, and the depth of love they feel for their happy, strong little boy has caught the couple off guard.
Shiray, 30, tells Woman’s Day, “There are lots of times we look at each other and ask, ‘Did you expect to love him this much?’ We really had no idea. Once we got over the victim mindset of no sleep, we’ve been really enjoying parenthood.”
But with her heart set on returning to the field, the Olympic gold medallist is finding her comeback a steeper challenge than she’d realised. Shiray, who is of Ngāti Maniapoto and Samoan descent, has endured plenty of setbacks in an interrupted rugby career, including missing the Paris 2024 Games after surgery to repair her third ACL rupture. But bouncing back from pregnancy and a Caesarean delivery – on top of knee reconstruction – has been tougher than expected.
The toughest comeback yet
“This is 100% harder,” she admits.
“When I had all my surgeries, I could sleep whenever I wanted to and just focus on recovering. But when you’ve had a baby, especially through C-section, there are so many other variables. I’m still coming back from my latest ACL injury. “I tried to find other athletes who’ve come back from an ACL and had a baby at the same time, and there’s no-one. I’ve had to look in the mirror for inspiration and get on with it that way.”
Although she may feel alone at times, it helps Shiray to share her journey with her 106,000 Instagram followers and 245,000 TikTok fans. She and Gillies are still creating popular digital content, and have also been filming an observational TV documentary on their lives for Māori+.
When sport meets family life
Four months after Korihi was born, Shiray was back training twice a day, leaving their home in rural Katikati while her son slept to drive 45 minutes to Tauranga for gym sessions. Now retired from rugby, Gillies, 35, has stepped back from his teaching career to be a stay-at-home dad.
“Gillies and our son have been following ‘the milk lady’ around,” laughs Shiray.
“They come into town to meet me at training, so I can feed him. We could put him on the bottle, but it’s a choice I’ve made to come back and play. Now there are two other people I have to consider and I can’t be a selfish athlete any more. I want to make sure all three of us are happy and enjoying life.”
A teammate at home
Gillies understands his wife’s drive to return.
“I’ve got that knowledge of what it takes to be an athlete – the sacrifices you have to make,” he says.
“I’m happy to stay home so she can concentrate on her training.”
Shiray admits her expectations for returning after childbirth have been “almost too high”.
The reality of coming back as a mum
She adds, “I’m tired and parts of my body I didn’t even know existed are sore! I’m surrounded by so many amazing women who’ve come back to play as mums, so I thought it would be easy to bounce back straightaway. “My best friend was back at the New Zealand women’s touch camp three months after her baby was born. I just thought, ‘Oh, that will be me too,’ but it hasn’t been the case. I could’ve pushed myself more after our son’s birth if I was thinking only about myself. But we’ve just had so much fun being parents and we’re finding out time with him just goes so fast.”
It’s meant Shiray has changed her mindset.
“My first goal is just to finish my trainings each day because they’re so beautifully interrupted,” she says, smiling at Korihi.
“Then to get fit, fast and strong, so I can play again. But I have to get my results back from my ACL testing first to see if I’m clear. I definitely want to return to sport, but I’m not sure what that looks like yet.”
Where Korihi’s name comes from
Korihi is already a “chill” little boy who loves being taken for walks through the native bush bordering their home with their five dogs. His name was inspired by an encounter Gillies had among the trees soon after his birth – six kākā circling overhead, screeching. The word “korihi”, Ma¯ori for a chorus of birds, came to him.
Korihi’s middle name, Malosi, is Samoan for strong.
“I wanted a word that describes my relationship with Gillies and hopefully our life as a family,” says Shiray.
“If our connections are strong, then our love for our son is strong. And he’s already strong – the way he holds on to things and gives his dad uppercuts!”
